My Revelation*** sorry everyone**

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2004
My Revelation*** sorry everyone**
2
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 9:56am
I want to say that i am truly sorry to all of you who have given me advice but my heart and my head were to stubbon to take it. yesterday i talked to my friend who is also a friend of my ex and i guess i finally let him go. I guess i realized that i am not in love with him but with the memory of what we were. Even she said that he is not the same person. Through all the lies and cheating that he has done i was holding on to the "memory" of us. This is dangerous. It has stopped me from being able to go forward because i keep looking back and looking for the guy that I fell in love with and not looking at who he is today. I thought about calling him or even e-mailing him but i now know that that is still holding on. He knows what he did and who he is but as long as he thinks i still care then he thiks he can manipulate me. I now realize that the person that i loved three years ago is dead... maybe not physically but emotionally. He will be the second person that i have had to remove from my life and i now know that we can't have a friendship ..at least not now and maybe not ever again. I know that i can't trust him with my heart but i also trust my friends to have my back and that's very important. He was actually a friend first and then our relationship grew. I think i would like to be in a relationship again but i want to find a friend first and not jump into anything for a while. I don't need time to heal from him but just time to be happy with being on my own even though I have good friends and am going back to school in August. Wish me luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 11:21am

Oh sweetie, you don't have to apologize to us for anything, you were just trying your best to love someone and hold your head above water. I reread my other post to you, and I really didn't mean to come across so harsh, I just didn't want you to set yourself up for more dissappointment from this guy. You deserve so much better!! I'm very sorry that you are going thru this and I know it hurts. But, I think it's the best step you can take, to get to a better place with your life and especially your heart. I do wish you luck, and love and strength and prayers for peace

Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:00pm
WOW are we the same person? I just came to the EXACT conclusion about my ex. I don't miss him, I miss what we had, but that doesn't exist anymore. Moreover, would I ever be able to trust him again? Probably not. Kudos! You'll be much happier when you accept it as your decision as well, not just his :)