My rollercoaster emotions
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| Sun, 04-15-2007 - 1:44am |
My ex and I have been broken up for almost a year now and I keep going back and forth with my emotions and readiness to move on. Sometimes I get these moments of empowerment, when I just want to put myself out there and find a great person to spend time with again..... but then shortly after I change my mind and just end up missing him even more
:( It was a really horrible break-up and the rug was yanked right out from under my feet unexpectedly. I know I deserve to be with someone who wants nothing more than to be with me, and believe me I want that very much.
Just tonight, I went out with my friends initially hoping to just "get out there" and enjoy myself.... but mid-way through the night I just got sad and started missing him. I put my profile on a couple of internet dating sites to get to know others, but quickly lost interest and again found myself even lonelier. Obviously I'm not truly ready to move on. But I want to. I'm taking care of myself and spending time with friends.
Anyone else go through this? Any thoughts or advice on how to get through this?
Thanks so much :)

brunette84..
You and Pianoguy are twins! Not physically......but emotionally!
I think it's difficult to try and let go of the past. Especially when there's still a longing to be with someone I loved with all my heart? When the love has dissolved so has the ability to TRUST. And frankly...I'm having an issue with this right now!
Let me ask you something? Can you separate the good times and the bad---when it comes to a former partner? If you can and if things were so terrific...this man would STILL BE YOUR PARTNER, right? There's nothing wrong with the dream of a "happily ever after" marriage, but face it! Some of us can "fall out of love" with a partner we felt would be with us for A LIFETIME! Depending upon the events...the split could be caused by another person...or just the fact that each half of a couple started "growing in different directions" from one another!
Rather than pine away for your past...why not look at each new person that you meet as A GOOD FRIEND? Don't read any future possibilities into the friendship. Get to know every new man and treat him the way you'd like to be treated!
Should 'emotional chemistry' develop between you and one or two of the men you meet, you can certainly take one step forward!
Best wishes and warm thoughts...
Pianoguy
I'm going through the same thing right now, and technically, we weren't even "dating", but it was for 5 months and things came to a screeching halt about 2 weeks ago and it's hard. Some days are good, some are bad, and sometimes you feel like you take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I'm sorry, I wish I could say something to help you get through this, but just take things one step at a time and one day at a time. A good friend told me to embrace what I'm feeling, and I think that's great advice. If you're having a crap day, have a crap day! If you are having a good day, remember the feeling and what made you happy so you can feel like that the next day too.
I know this is all easier said then done, BELIEVE ME, I know, but we all know that it does get easier, it just takes time.
***hugs***
To the contrary, I think you are ready to move on... maybe not into a relationship, but from how your last one left you feeling.
That often used expression "moving on" doesn't always mean "finding someone new".
For me, moving on means initiating and fully going through the process of understanding and accepting who and what it was that has upset or hurt us, until we get to a place where we are at peace with the past and ready to embrace the potential of all that lays ahead of us (which I think is always much better than whatever it was that lead us to the "moving on" period in the first place!)
If moving on means you getting out and putting yourself on the market, only to end up feeling sad and missing your ex, accept that it's a part of your process... and like anyone who makes a committment to seeing a reaching a target, the more you strive toward what you want, the greater your opportunity for success.
It might not come the first, second, third, heck even twentith time around, but when you commit to the process, you have already achieved the first, and most important, step.
mblade2006
"Just because everything is different
Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and ideas :) I definitely should take the pressure off and just let things flow naturally. And its also so true that we all need to move at our own pace. I'd rather enjoy friendship and the "single life" instead of jumping into something too soon when my head and heart are not in the right place.
*Hugs* for you all!