NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
NC
6
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 1:22pm

Yay for me.

Starting my 5th week of no contact with my ex :)This is the longest I've been. I plan to keep it up AT LEAST to two months (reccommended from It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.)-hopefully, a lot longer. I'm hoping, one month from now, I'll care a lot less about keeping any contact.

I'm wondering, how long did it take you guys to stop hurting on a daily basis when doing no contact?

I did talk to his roomate. He said he was moping around. and that "no matter what he gets himself into, he really does care about you."
hah, BS. if he really cared, he wouldn't have dumped me...
he has texted me twice, and called to wish me a merry christmas. i did feel bad, but i did not respond.

anyway...

How is everyone else doing???

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stinabee
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 2:23pm

Good for you! I unfortunately had a slip yesterday and tried to call my ex who disappeared on me 6 weeks ago, two weeks after I gave up trying to contact him to get him to talk to me and get *some* sort of explanation. Of course he didn't answer. It was the worst Christmas I've had in a while, because of that...but I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start NC over again today.

You had posted about checking your ex's email or something similar...have you been able to stop that and if so, as of when? That will definitely affect how long it takes you to feel better. Also, having indirect contact (talking to his roommmate) and allowing him to contact you (even if you don't respond) could set you back, so anything you can do to avoid that would help you move on sooner. Can you set your phone so that he can't text you for example (I know some phones allow this)?

Hang in there...it will get better!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
In reply to: stinabee
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 3:23pm
I didn't try to contact my x. He dumped me three weeks ago and he didn't even call me for christmas.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: stinabee
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 4:20pm

I'm glad you've resisted the urge to call him, though I concur with Sheri that talking to the roommate does compromise NC a bit. The purpose of NC to me is to move on with your life, thus even talking about him with people he's close to can stem your progress.

Not that I'm in any position to preach. I was doing fine with not contacting the guy I was seeing. He started calling me a couple weeks after he dumped me. He'd leave voicemails, which I'd listen to, but then erase. Each message was weakening my resolve. Finally, the third time he called I answered, but I was very cold and aloof, as he attempted to have a casual, "how are things going" conversation.

NC is hard, so I congratulate you. When I was angry and hurt it was easier for me to keep it up. I will draw from your example as inspiration.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
In reply to: stinabee
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 11:30pm
Same here. Also 3 weeks ago, and I have not heard a word from him. I saw him at the gym about a week after our breakup- he came up to me and asked me how I was- I had headphones on and still felt completely hurt, and I just couldn't really start a conversation with him. He seemed to understand and walked away.
This past week, for some reason, I have been thinking of my ex a lot, having dreams about him and things like that. I was really REALLY missing him last night and today. New Year's maybe?? I just want over these feelings so badly! I want over him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
In reply to: stinabee
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 6:58pm
U r doing great..hurray...I know u do not feel great..it takes time. I am doing super..NC but my ex breaks it a lot..
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2005
In reply to: stinabee
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 7:09pm
hi all, sheri i am so sorry to hear that. i totally understand. not to mention, what makes everything worse is the holidays. i am waiting till tomorrow till this holiday season is finally over and things get back to normal. i am not doing well with NC. my ex called me from another country he is traveling to for 4 weeks, said he missed me, wanted me to be there with him new years eve....he realizes all the mistakes he made, blamed it on stress, etc. then when i didn't visit he called me new years eve, said he was trying so hard to get in touch for the past 3 days but all international lines were jammed. he misses me and has thought about me every second. then i get an email from him same day. he has been dying to speak to me like crazy. i have no idea. he misses me, etc. i am nervous. he returns home thurs. I decided i will not even discuss getting back together unless he goes to therapy. seriously. in addition, i am concerned because i feel like once he comes home, what if he treats me the same way as before. thats why i don't want to go back until he has gone to therapy. i don't even know if thats his goal and if not its painful he has been calling me like that