NC for 6 days and need help
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NC for 6 days and need help
| Sat, 01-21-2006 - 5:02pm |
It's been almsot 3 weeks, and 6 days with NC. So tempted to pick up the phone, weekends are the worst. I need some encouragement, am I doing the right thing?
-me
-me

Hi
I know it's so hard to think a life without having any contact with your ex. But you are taking good care of yourself. I'm so proud of you :) I tell you that it won't be easy to fight with temptations for a while, but all what you're feeling now will gradually fade away. It's been more than 3 months of the breakup and 1 month of NC from my side. When he emailed me a week ago for my birthday, I still cried, but I didn't reply to him because I made a closure. It was tempting though so I really understand where you are right now. But you are doing right thing although it may be difficult to believe it.
we are here for you.
Aloha
GF, it sounds to me like you ARE doing the right thing, & doing a great job of it. If he's not trying to make up with you, begging your forgiveness, please do NOT even think about calling him. Stop remembering how sweet he was in the *beginning*, stop remembering the good times & the future you thought you had, & think about how much it hurt & turned your whole world upside-down when he broke his sudden news that he wasn't happy bla bla. Right now, becoz you haven't been trying to contact him, he may be wondering if he ever had you quite as wrapped around his little pinky as he may have thought, which is your best chance to ever get the pleasure of him begging your forgiveness some sweet day, but hopefully not until you've over him, which I say becoz after being together for 3 yrs, he wasn't very nice about how he broke up with you so suddenly, without giving the r'ship another chance or whatever.
If you call him, what happens then? Either 1- You talk as friends & it makes you miss him like crazy, bringing you back to square one or close to it. OR 2- He reminds you that he doesn't love you in a romantic way, which only breaks your heart MORE, to have to hear that again. Do you need that??? No, you KNOW you don't, just like *I* know *I* dont either. (HOwever, my bf would be far more likely to just hang up the phone on me, right away, which would KILL me, so I HAVE to stay strong too, & know it's hard.)
Just tell yourself like I do, that some day you'll contact him, but not until you're ready, not until we're able to stop giving them so much power to hurt us. I tell myself I'll call him once I'm much stronger, but I know I may never call him at all too. It helps knowing I can if I want to tho, some day in the future.
Forgive me if you read this in the other thread, but if not, here is a forward I read the other day that hit home for me. I left my bf, after like you, 3 yrs, but he pushed me to it, & he didnt try to stop me, so I feel rejected too, & hurt & etc. This forward hit home for me, maybe you too....
LET IT GO!
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if > they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. > And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's > part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the > dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's > over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's > the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm > hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me > to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't > need it. > Stop begging people to stay. > Let them go!! > If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was > never intended for your life, then you need to...... > LET IT GO!!! > If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .... > LET IT GO!!! > If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your > worth..... > LET IT GO!!! > If someone has angered you ....... > LET IT GO!!! > If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...... > LET IT GO!!! > If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...... > LET IT GO!!! > If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new > level...... > LET IT GO!!! > If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... > LET IT GO!!! > If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help > themselves...... > LET IT GO!!! > If you're feeling depressed and stressed > LET IT GO!!! > If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling > yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you > need to...... > LET IT GO!!! > Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new > thing for 2006 !!! > LET IT GO!!!
-Smiles
WOW. Good for you.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit