NC does help! Here's a good/fun article

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
NC does help! Here's a good/fun article
5
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 3:26pm

Hi everyone!

I find this to be a great article in my weaker moments! I still read it. A while back someone posted this and I found very helpful and it made me laugh (difficult to do in the initial recovery phase) Please take the time an read through it. While I can't say that I agree with "all" things at a given moment...I find the article to portray what any good girlfriend would say (Yes there is a man's version too...just not saved to my favorites:-). Hope this helps you and remember your healing is for you and at your pace!

http://www.breakupsurvivor.com/BreakupSurvivor/articles/articles.aspx?gender=Female

Hugs to all!
S~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 8:01pm

Hi luvyoufirst (great name, BTW),

I just wanted to truly thank you for placing that link on this site. Although I get most of my 'hard-core' issues answered here, I find the other site to be helpful especially when I'm in my alone time.

So thanks again!

To everyone else here: THIS TOO SHALL PASS....say it over and over and over an.. :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 3:01pm
Oh my god, that was such an awesome article, now all i have to do is hold myself to it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 4:57pm
sorry, i have to dissagree with that article. no offense to you or anyone who agrees with it, but i didn't feel right if i didn't say this...i think it is a terrible article. i think it may give temporary releif(if that), but in the long run i think it will be so much more damaging than helpful. i can understand that when people are angry this article may be just what they need, but really, think about what it's really saying. anyways, that article got me pretty worked up and i truely do worry for everyone who is going to follow that advice, i won't go on anymore about it or get into detail because i'll never stop and i don't want to get worked up....just wanted to give my 2 cents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 12:37am

I thought the article was somewhat good and had some points to follow. Tell me what you thought was the problem. I'm interested in what you have to say.

Dev242

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 1:31pm
wow, where do i begin? first i think it's somewhat generalizing and male bashing. not everyone's break up(or situation around the break up) is the same. so how can the writer say this is for every woman. and, break ups are NOT always the man's fault, sometimes it's noones fault really. and i think that, just like women don't like to generalized, or no one group of people like to be stereotyped or generalized, so why is it ok to generalize and stereo type men? most of all i think this article does nothing for healing, i think it can actual damage or delay the healing process. i think i feeds into any anger feelings we may have, which in turn will prevent us from healing because anger does nothing for healing...yes, sometimes it's a natural reaction, but if we never let go of anger, i believe that we will never fully heal. i also think that the writer is very insensitive. there is a way to be blunt and not sugar coat without being rude or insensitive. also, the writer probably means well by telling it's readers to learn from her mistakes...but we all know that no matter how much advice people give us, we must learn through our own experiences/choices(whether "bad" or "good"). i also think this article is very dangerous because in a sense, it may cause someone NOT to let go and move on, because it's almost like giving the reader false hope of reconcilliation if she "plays this game"....because that's what this basically is...a big game, and aren't we all too old/mature to play silly games, time spent on playing games like this can be time spent working towards true healing and self-discovery. also, crying, and being sad after a break up is such a normal and i believe, a neccessary part of healing, and the author is basically saying not to cry or be sad, which i think is the worst advice you can ever give to someone who is trying to heal. one last thing...putting on a "facade" or "act" that we're doing wonderful infront of the ex or around people who know the ex, i think is quite ludacris. again, it's playing a game. we do not have to prove anything to anyone. as long as we know the truth about ourselves and God knows the truth about us, we do not need to prove anything to anyone...the truth shall stand. also, if this article is about moving on and letting go, why on earth does this "plan"/"game" focus all of attention on the ex?....how to look infront of the ex, how to act in front of the ex, what the ex is thinking about you, what the ex is going to think about you...and so on. we need to not put focus on the ex, but on ourselves and our "self". doing things for true healing and growing and for ourselves not for the ex or anyone else.