NC is hard !!!!
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NC is hard !!!!
| Wed, 10-26-2005 - 10:35am |
NC is so Hard !!!
I get the worst anxiety and I can't stop myself from calling, emailing or texting. It's only been 2 weeks since we broke up, but I can't let it go. I am still very confused as to why we broke up. I know that he has commitment problems and is 5 years younger than I am, I am 32. The relationship was so good though, we had so much fun together. I don't understand how someone can say they love you so much and then not try and work on things with you. He said he needs "time" - what the f is that?

b)maybe he found someone else(which he won't tell me, and quite frankly i don't think i want to know.. or c) maybe he's completely over me now and has no urge to call me anymore...i don't know, and i guess it shouldn't really matter...it's really hard, i know, it sucks, and i wish there were some easy way out of this, but i haven't found it yet...if you do, let me know.
GT:
I totally agree. I just had about 4 conversations last night with my bf who needed space starting the beginning of October. We finally ended up ending the relationship last Tuesday, becuase he has no idea when or if he might feel better.
Last night, he talked on about how horrible he feels but it was clear he is still in that same place. He was out looking for me, but I am actually very glad he did not find me, as he would have probably been here for a day til he got spooked again.
He has a lot of stresses in his life, but it kills me that he is walking away from the one thing that worked in his life. It was good to say some things, but I still miss him terribly and wish he would come back.....but HE HAS TO DEAL WITH IS ISSUES.
Your guy may be afraid or unable to fess up that he just can't do it. I plan to spend major amounts of love and time of MYSELF - - life will take me where I am meant to be.
Hi,
It has been 26 days since we broke up. The book It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken
The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy Written by Greg Behrendt has helped me.
The guy I dated broke it offe with me 1 week before my day. I had no contact & what does he do...adds more pain to my bday by sending me flowers anonymously. Yeh, yeh you may think it's nice...but he never called. I never called him to thank him. I figure if he really wanted to see me...he would call.
It hurts every day. This was very confusing for me.
Believe me when I say I know how hard it is to maintain NC after a breakup.
There just comes a point when matters are out of your hands. You realize there are no magic words or actions that will make them see how wrong this is (in our eyes anyway). And there is nothing that they can say to truly make you understand the 'whys'. That is the time when you just have to let them go gracefully and wish them well on their journey.
Was it bad timing? possibly. Fear of committment or hurt? maybe. Pure confusion on their part about what they want? very likely. Unwillingness to leave his comfort zone? could be.
One thing I have learned is that you can only deal with your own issues and that goes the same for them. You can't control how someone act, you can only control your reactions to them. It is hard to predict how he will view this as he gets older. Instead keep the focus on yourself and what you can do to make yourself feel better -- in healthy ways I should add. I know you miss him but you had a life before he came into it. Try not to allow yourself to fall into anger and bitterness. People will come and go from our lives and we need to make sure that we are self aware and whole enough as individuals that no one persons parting should leave a big gap in our lives. If we can learn and grow from these ordeals, then there truly is a reason for everything.
Lois
Everyone heals in their own time. Their was one guy in my life that it tooks me years to really get over. Part of the problem was we did the break up, get back together thing -- but we were very young. I finally came to the conclusion that while this is someone who will always rev my engine (so to speak) We are not the same type of people. Looking back on the course his life has taken since then, all I can say is THANK GOODNESS I stopped associating with him! eek. Then there have been guys that it took me a grand total of 2 weeks to get over. Who really knows why one person can have such a hold on you when another doesn't.
But this I do know, the only time that a person can truly move on is when they accept that the relationship is over for good. As long as someone holds out for hope of a reconciliation, they will not begin to get over the other person. Closure comes from within.
Lois