This NC isn't working!
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| Tue, 09-14-2004 - 10:47am |
It's not that I am dying to talk to him. I am kinda enjoying the breather too. (Ok, sometimes.) I was fine for a while. I thought he just needed time. But, the more time that passes the more time he has to get over me! The more time he is letting go by without missing me. The more time I am thinking "Crap. Did he even love me in the first place?". I thought there was a 85-95% chance he'd be back. The fact that he is able to drop me out of his life & throw me away so easily is absolutely killing me. I guess the fact that he just didn't really want me is starting to really get to me. I feel like our whole 2 years was a sham. I thought he was the sweetest, most decent guy in the world. I cannot believe of all people he would do this to me! I had just recently took off my casual "left-hand" ring thinking he'd propose soon. Boy, am I an idiot!
Great...here I go again...breaking down at work. I have never felt so pathetic, hurt, and wimpy in my whole life.

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Look at this logically......if you're the one doing the breaking up - you've known for quite awhile that it is coming. It's not you get up one day and while brushing your teeth go "I think I'll go down to breakfast or give Susan a call after breakfast and break up." It's something that you've thought about for awhile, you've considered for awhile, you've tried to avoid for awhile, you've tried to resolve yourself to for awhile...AND BEING SINGLE IS A CONCEPT THAT YOU'VE COME TO ASPIRE TO FOR AWHILE AND HAVE BEGUN TO THINK OF YOURSELF IN TERMS OF, AND ESTABLISH YOURSELF AS A REALITY OF!
So "no contact" is the period in which the person who was totally caught off guard by this break-up is given to start redefining themselves as a single individual. Begin to reprioritize based on their new options and opportunities and goals and needs.
So, you're saying that he knew for quite awhile he's been "unhappy with his life, his successes, his personal progress"...and now he's ended the relationship trying to re-establish himself, become who he wants to be.
Where in there would you be thinking that "no contact" is a part of his existence? It's not. He's not having contact because he's busy doing what he got 'single' to do. So you need to get busy doing what is required "now that you are single".
Friendships can be re-established. If there truly was admiration and respect for one another - not just for what you offered and provided to one another in terms of benefits....the friendship will re-establish. Once you've both redefined yourselves as individuals, gotten some individual success under your belts - you'll come back together as friends who admire and respect one another based on values and priorities and standards - it's just that there is no "future" to be impacted by this friendship because it's going to be part of your life" - but it's not going to 'determine your future".
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
2 weeks ago, right when we broke up my pc was on the fritz. (He's a PC IT guy.) I asked if he would come to fix it. (This of course, was my manipulating way of getting him over to my house.) He never responded. Until today! UGH! He says he "will come over sometime to fix it". I already told him I couldn't be friends with him. Why does he want to help out now? I already told him nevermind, not to worry about it. But, hey, at least he was thinking about me.
How to Survive the Loss of a Love
http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm
Read it and let me know what you think.
Hugs,
Laura
I really like this. Thank you so much for posting this. And if you think that those millions may have gone through many breakups ... you may be talking about billions of breakups. Yes, we do survive.
I swear I see such a pattern in these guys when reading so many of the posts on these boards. After 2 years, they "need space", "time alone" whatever. What the hell is it with these guys and that time frame & those reasons? ARGH! (Well, my situation is a little different from that...) but still! I'm so sorry everyone here has had their heart broken. Hang in there ladies!
"Without music, life is a journey through the desert"...
So, it's not meant to be for us... we're just not on the same page. Time for me to move on... and I know I'll be just fine! :-)
"Without music, life is a journey through the desert"...
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