This NC isn't working!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
This NC isn't working!
13
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 10:47am
I haven't talked to him since Thursday. It feels like it has been months!

It's not that I am dying to talk to him. I am kinda enjoying the breather too. (Ok, sometimes.) I was fine for a while. I thought he just needed time. But, the more time that passes the more time he has to get over me! The more time he is letting go by without missing me. The more time I am thinking "Crap. Did he even love me in the first place?". I thought there was a 85-95% chance he'd be back. The fact that he is able to drop me out of his life & throw me away so easily is absolutely killing me. I guess the fact that he just didn't really want me is starting to really get to me. I feel like our whole 2 years was a sham. I thought he was the sweetest, most decent guy in the world. I cannot believe of all people he would do this to me! I had just recently took off my casual "left-hand" ring thinking he'd propose soon. Boy, am I an idiot!

Great...here I go again...breaking down at work. I have never felt so pathetic, hurt, and wimpy in my whole life.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:15pm
It's been about 6 1/2 weeks for me. I've been very lucky to have my family and friends to lean on and vent to... and reading a lot of books has helped me as well. Watching movies I enjoy is always good... music is hard to listen to many times, because that was something he and I really have in common, so there's a lot of memories there. It sucks, because music is something that really lifts my spirit. I really have been trying to focus on the fact that I'm very fortunate in other areas of my life... I have a job, roof over my head and a wonderful family and friends who care.

Some days are tougher than others. I was doing a lot better, but this past weekend set me back a bit. He and I have been living together so it's been hard to distance myself. (I am moving in 2 weeks) He works every other weekend, but this past weekend he was off and Saturday was very clingy with me, trying to have it be how it used to be. I had to really enforce that as hard as it is, I can't go back to that. I've told him that we will never be together again as a couple. :-( Sad, but I have to...

"Without music, life is a journey through the desert"...

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:42pm
That sounds really sad, taunwe. It must be hard to be breaking up and be living with him too. You will probably feel better once you have moved out, especially since it sounds like you've done a lot of mourning already. Friends and family really are everything, aren't they? I'm very lucky too because I have two good friends I can really count on. I've been sleeping over at one of their places because I don't want to be alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 4:29pm
I almost forgot to mention that these boards have been a big help too!

It certainly hasn't been easy... I'm lucky because our work schedules are pretty different, so it's easier when I don't see him much. I'm just now concentrating on getting my stuff packed. I think I've packed away all the things he gave me, letters he wrote, etc. - those were the worst to come across. Now they're just in a big box... :-(

I'm so glad you have friends to stay with! It's really comforting to have people around us right now. You take good care of yourself... {{{HUG}}}}

"Without music, life is a journey through the desert"...

Pages