Necessary but still very sad!
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Necessary but still very sad!
| Sun, 03-09-2008 - 4:25pm |
Yesterday me and my boyfriend of 8 months broke up. I know, 8 months might not seem long, but he really swept me off my feet and we told each other we were in love just two weeks after meeting.
The graduate school started. We are both in the same program. The program is so intense it's called the "relationship curse"! Luckily it's only one year long. We both started working absolutely insane hours, but managed to spend a lot of time together. I really relied on him for companionship because I didn't know anyone else at school, and if you've already found the most interesting person, there's not a ton of incentive to meet new people.
We managed to make it through the first semester fine. He came to visit me over break, met my friends and fam and then we took a road trip and I did the same. I never thought a guy could enjoy spending so much time with me and vice versa. Over break we both decided we wanted to live together after school.
Then we got back to school, and I don't know what happened. We started having srguments. He blew off Valentine's day. I blew him off for the make-up Valentine's Day we planned. I'm literally at a loss. He started working even more than I was, and that made me insecure, even though it shouldn't have. Then it seemed like we weren't really interested in living in the same area right after graduation. To make that happen, there was going to have to be a compromise, and I guess our relationship wasn't happy enough for either of us to sacrifice a great career that we had just killed ourselves to prepare for in graduate school.
Yesterday I woke up and I knew it was over. I called my bf and said I wanted to talk. He said he was scared and nervous and he would be right over. We both felt like we didn't know how to make each other happy, and maybe we could work on it if we were leading normal lives, but we knew the overarching problems of school and post-school uncertainty would still be there.
The break up was very nice, lots of tears and hugs. I still love him so much and feel like I really did him wrong on some levels. He said he still loves me but that I'm really sad about somethings that he doesn't know how to fix. But, I know that right now we can't work it out. I'm still hopeful for the future though. We didn't talk about the possibility of getting back together, but we still want to remain friends. Should I treat this as a break-up or a break to deal with myself and then try to get back together? Has anyone ever moved anywhere for a guy before? How can we start being friends again?
The graduate school started. We are both in the same program. The program is so intense it's called the "relationship curse"! Luckily it's only one year long. We both started working absolutely insane hours, but managed to spend a lot of time together. I really relied on him for companionship because I didn't know anyone else at school, and if you've already found the most interesting person, there's not a ton of incentive to meet new people.
We managed to make it through the first semester fine. He came to visit me over break, met my friends and fam and then we took a road trip and I did the same. I never thought a guy could enjoy spending so much time with me and vice versa. Over break we both decided we wanted to live together after school.
Then we got back to school, and I don't know what happened. We started having srguments. He blew off Valentine's day. I blew him off for the make-up Valentine's Day we planned. I'm literally at a loss. He started working even more than I was, and that made me insecure, even though it shouldn't have. Then it seemed like we weren't really interested in living in the same area right after graduation. To make that happen, there was going to have to be a compromise, and I guess our relationship wasn't happy enough for either of us to sacrifice a great career that we had just killed ourselves to prepare for in graduate school.
Yesterday I woke up and I knew it was over. I called my bf and said I wanted to talk. He said he was scared and nervous and he would be right over. We both felt like we didn't know how to make each other happy, and maybe we could work on it if we were leading normal lives, but we knew the overarching problems of school and post-school uncertainty would still be there.
The break up was very nice, lots of tears and hugs. I still love him so much and feel like I really did him wrong on some levels. He said he still loves me but that I'm really sad about somethings that he doesn't know how to fix. But, I know that right now we can't work it out. I'm still hopeful for the future though. We didn't talk about the possibility of getting back together, but we still want to remain friends. Should I treat this as a break-up or a break to deal with myself and then try to get back together? Has anyone ever moved anywhere for a guy before? How can we start being friends again?

Welcome to the board radical82,
::Should I treat this as a break-up or a break to deal with myself and then try to get back together?
It would take both of you making that decision. If you look at it as a 'break' but then see him with someone else, how will you feel?
::Has anyone ever moved anywhere for a guy before?
There have been a few on this board that has moved for someone else. Hopefully, they will reply.
::How can we start being friends again?
It's hard to be just friends when you have romantic feelings for someone at least until you heal first.
Sorry you re going through this.
Radical, I think the problem is timing. It's not about your relationship. Unfortunately, timing has everything to do w/ the rs too.