Nee some input ....Please
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| Tue, 07-03-2007 - 4:21pm |
I'm not sure what to do anymore. After being broken up for 6 months, after a 7 year relationship, I felt I was finally doing better. I was starting to have days I was really actually happy. Then I saw him with his girlfriend (that I was totally blindsided by). Found out that he had been with her for a very long time, most likely before the breakup, and was totally shocked since he had given me the whole, "it's not you it's me, I'm too busy with work, the business, etc., not looking for another relationship....." and I was foolish enough to really totally believe him!!!
Anyway, since I've seen them, I'm back to square one and possibly suffering worse than I was at the beginning. I picture them together all of the time and am so sad!
I sent him his suit last week (that I had at my house since his father's funeral, just before he broke up with me)for a couple of reasons. It had the pamphlets from the funeral along with the shell casings from the Veteran's funeral service in the pockets and I knew that they would have a special meaning to him. I also did it because I wanted to be able to look back on this and know I had taken the high road and did the classy thing rather than shred the suit or give it to the Salvation Army or something. I also always had in the back of my mind that he would call me and I would think he wanted to talk and all he wanted was his suit back, so I wanted it gone. Anyway, I packed it up nicely and sent it to him the end of last week, without a note, because there was nothing to say. I got home from work last night and he was on my caller ID!!!! He didn't leave a message and he called at a time that I would normally be home. I had a total meltdown and cried all night, since it was the first time he has tried to contact me in 7 months! We have run into each other 3 times by accident (including the 1 time with the girlfriend) but he has never tried to call (and I can proudly say I have never called him). I'm so confused! Why would he call and not leave a message? He knows I have caller ID so I would know he called. Was he feeling guilty? Was he hoping I would call him back? Why not just leave a message and say "thanks for sending the suit"?? I don't understand.
Also, I feel I am stuck in this part of my grieving process and can't seem to get myself out. Is this normal? What should I do???? I don't know anymore! I'm so sad and am so tired of being so sad!

He may have called to thank you for sending the suit, but felt odd about just leaving a message when he hadn't called in so long, especially if he wasn't expecting to get your machine. If he wants to reach you, he'll call again.
I think your reaction to seeing him with his girlfriend is normal and is a sign that you're coping with things the way you should be. Grief is our mind's way of adjusting to a new reality and learning to come to terms with things. Just when you were coming to terms with the relationship being over, you found out about a whole new reality that you have to come terms with now. You will get past this as well, and it should be quicker this time. Hang in there.