Need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Need advice
2
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 1:19am

So my boyfriend of five years and I called it quits a few weeks ago, and i instituted the no contact policy.
The holidays are now upon us, and many of our mutual friends are having gatherings and such, and (trying to not be biased) are inviting both of us. Now, my ex is not in favor of the no contact rule (he hasnt contacted me, but has stated to me that he would like to stay friends) , and has RSVP's for many of these events. So my choice is, do i go to the parties, even tho i know he will be there and i will be uncomfortable, or do i choose to not go (as i have done with 2 events so far) and slowly lose touch with all of my/our friends???

Any opinions, please...
Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: jennh1978
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 2:32am

if you don't want to go where he'll be, then don't.

you can keep in touch with your friends without going to a party and seeing the ex.

remember... there are 11 other months to maintain your friendships - no need to feel like you have to attend these parties just to keep your friends.

your life is your's. do what makes you comfortable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
In reply to: jennh1978
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 3:07am
Ditto to the previous poster's remarks. Send a sweet note thanking your friends for their kind invitation, but you'll be unable to make it..."could we possibly get together after the New Year for lunch, a movie, etc etc" Improvise, overcome, adapt. Right now, your main concern is healing from your broken relationship. Contact in any form KEEPS YOUR WOUNDS FROM HEALING. You can maintain your friendships and protect yourself from further heartache if you just use a little ingenuity. Good luck!