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need advice!
| Fri, 08-27-2004 - 3:45pm |
My boyfriend of just over a year and I broke up the other night. We hadn't been fighting or arguing, but I knew of his uncertainty regarding our future together. We've been long-distance for 11 months (he had to move b/c of his job) and I think the distance finally took its toll. The thing is, we were always happy when we were together but in the past few months he has said that this is emotionally draining him and he doesn't think it's fair to string me along when I know what I want and he doesn't. This is the most serious and longest lasting relationship for both of us. I'm 29 and he's 32. I miss him terribly as we emailed every day and talked every day for the entire time we've been together. I haven't called him or emailed him since the breakup. I just don't know what went wrong. Has anyone been in a similar situation or able to offer any advice?

I too was involved in a long distance relationship for just over a year..she was East coast, I was West. After spending a small fortune (It was worth every penny) & seeing each other every two weeks or so, we finally broke up. As hard as I may have tried it just didn't work. It has taken me a long time to understand some of our issues, but I realize now that the distance was just to much to overcome. Someone pointed out to me recently that no matter how much you talk on the phone, e-mail, write, it just isn't the same as being there and creating that special bond that two people need. I realize that it sounds trite, but all of the connect/disconnect that we went through as time went by just took a really huge toll on both of us. I wish I had taken the risk and just said let's get married and we'll make it work because I love you with all my heart. Instead I kept waiting for everything to be just right. Guess what? No relationship is perfect and sometimes you just have to take a chance. It's too late for me, but look in your heart and decide what you truly want to do. Don't worry about ego or pride at this point, when you truly love someone I think giving it your all is the most important thing there is. I may have taken a few blows to my own ego when I tried to convince her to try and make us work, but at least I can go on knowing that I did everything in my power to try and prove to her how I truly felt.
Good luck, I know how tough this is for you....
Uly