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Need advice.
| Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:19am |
So, my story is on the thread, "Does not calling him drive him away?", but I'll re-cap.
My ex- boyfriend and
| Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:19am |
So, my story is on the thread, "Does not calling him drive him away?", but I'll re-cap.
My ex- boyfriend and
Hey webgirl03 -
Does he not want to be with you because he's so hurt over the fact that you went away for a year?
Honestly, I find that a bit selfish. He should have viewed this year abroad as a great experience for you. I mean, you did this for YOU. Not to spite him! And when someone loves another, they want the other person to grow and experience things, and flourish (as cheesy as that sounds).
I complained about my ex (bf at the time) going abroad for a whole semester. I made him feel guilty about going. And he told me that I should be happy for him! I should be happy that he's going abroad learning what he loves, and having the experience of a lifetime. He said that if I were to ever go abroad he would be so happy for me.
And I realize that now, that if my bf wanted to do something for himself, I should support it.
I would recommend (if you haven't done this already) to tell him exactly why you needed to go abroad. How it helped you. How it was personal and it had nothing to do with him. You trusted the relationship enough that you knew it would survive you going away. Try not to be angry and let him know you understand his point. But at the same time, you had to do this for YOU. Don't forget that.
Why didn't he visit you in Asia? I visited my bf abroad. And it was fun! And during the trip I was so happy that he got to have this experience.
Anyway, yes I would see him getting angry about this as a red flag. But if he cares for you enough, he'll look past how your going away affected HIM, and he'll realize how it helped you. And he should be happy about it.
Good luck!
I don't know how to handle someone who is so contemptuous about a mistake I made.
He sounds really immature and selfish to me.
Hi webgirl,
Here's the link to your previous post: Does not returning calls drive him away?
I had a boyfriend who did this in college. He got irrationally angry whenever I went home on vacation even though we lived together most of the year. He told me it showed him where my priorities lay. Whatever.
I had an opportunity to go abroad in my last year of college and chose to stay with him. I wish now I had gone. Its never worth it to stifle your own creative life path for a man.
You sound young. Don't let a guy determine your life experiences. If he loves you he should understand that if you're going to make a good partner, you need to know what you want out of life and that you need to
I am having such a hard time letting go of this.
I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. I am going through a similar experience with my ex boyfriend. Before we started dating , I got accepted into graduate school on the other side of the country. We started dating a month before I was to leave for the summer. I had wanted to take things slow, but he wanted to make sure we were 'together' before I left. All summer instead of enjoying my new experience, I was miserable because I missed him. I didn't go out as much and I didn't enjoy my time with the new friends I had made as much because I was busy 'missing him' and trying to maintain a long distance relationship that was a month old.