need advice about an ex
Find a Conversation
need advice about an ex
| Sun, 11-14-2004 - 7:26pm |
I have been reading others worries and concerns. I need some help. my boyfriend and i have been together and living together for 3 years. 3 weeks ago we broke up because to him we have different views, and to him it wasn't working out on the same level it was. he stopped having sex with me months ago. i gave excuses that maybe he was just exhausted because he's taking 18 units and working full time and has no time for me. but i would be the patient little girlfriend to take care of him when he got home. i gave my life to him and now that we've broken up i am the saddest person. i have my better days and like today i had a bad day because i miss him so much. i live with him still. we had a domestic partnership and have accumilated debt, we have a lease in our name. so i feel the right thing to do is stay and help each other out. and we are. he isn't seeing anyone and doesn't want a girlfriend, that's why we broke up. but why would someone of 3 years, where you've built a life together, supported each other, took care of each other just say it's not working out. our relationship works so well. we get each other. or i thought i got him. but he changed and that scared me. i tried to change to be what he wanted and that did not work. i don't know what to do. i see him and i want to be all over him. i miss him. we act like best friends. we go to school together, watch tv, and he's more nice to me now than he has been in months. does he need time to have space? does he need to realize what he wants? does he want to be with other people and then come back to me? does he need to figure things out for himself and then he'll come back to me. i wish i knew the outcome. i wish i knew the future. i hope for the best and want things to work out. but why would i want to be with someone who questions me and would want to brake up instead of working it out. relationships go through ups and downs and we were going through downs but i was willing to wait for the ups. but that's not what he wanted. so now i am here asking for answers. i have prayed, i have asked for guidence, i have talked to my mom, i have read that book "He's just not that into You" i don't know what else to do. should i just stay and be his friend and move on? but that is so hard because i love him so much. i know he loves me too, but he's not in love with me. is there a difference? i am always the one to help out my women friends and give them advice but because my situation is unique i don't know what to do. what is right and what is wrong. i'm not holding to my relationship. i just maintain a friendship with him because it's what works right now. but i love him. what do i do? anyone?

I hope this helps
Dubaibound
and i totally understand that every relationship and situation is different. but i have realized, that every relationship i've been in (friendship, dating, serious, or otherwise), guys seem to be MORE interested in you when you act disinterested in them. i know it's hard to do that though, because you think "i don't want to give him the wrong idea...i love him, and i want himm to know that so he can feel like he can come back." or at least, that's what i felt.
but, by giving him his space, you're not only showing him that you support him and are willing to accomodate his needs, but you are taking time for YOURSELF and trying to get through this. don't let this relationship be about him. it's about YOU. find YOU again.
i hope i helped at least a little.
good luck, and keep us posted! <3333