need advice with boyfriend
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| Tue, 01-04-2005 - 8:00am |
ok on new yrs day while my guy was driving me home,a former guy friend of his that started rumors and caused problems with us and broke us up called him while he was driving..and he lied about it saying it was his sister..he no longer hangs out with him because the guy is a jerk and started lots of trouble,but i am upset that he lied,esp since we broke up for few mos..now i am wondering if i should dump him for not telling me truth right away..also something else happenend last month with us..he was telling me about someone texting him and he had no idea who it was,thought it was the jerk x friend at first but said he wouldnt text him(this guy is a minda mental and doesnt take a hint,i met him couple times and he acts very stupid)then he thought it was a girl him dn his other firend used ot be friends with..he texted the person(he didnt know if it was guirl or guy)in front of me asking who it was..turned out to be a girl that is friends with his friends and his friends fiance,hsi friend used my guys cell one time to call her..of course i think the story is kinda weird and figured eh met someone while we broke up and the person is texting ..all the girl said was hi havent talked ot you in a while,and hejust wrote hi back to find out hwo it was and she didnt reply...so right now i am wonderign what to do..he was letting me look at his cell,and using it to check my email and showed me the texts,so i figure he isnt hiding anything?

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"maybe if they treated women better they wouldnt have to lie"
Here's a life truth that you must accept and embrace. Men DO NOT DO what women don't ALLOW. You allow him to lie to you so he does. You allow him back into your life with his empty promises, all you get is emptiness.
My first post gave him the bennifit of the doubt, and you were able to reply with just exactly how the doubt is undeniable. So why then are you betraying yourself and allowing this all to happen? He's doing what you're allowing. Staying is allowing by default.
Hi Chesire,
I don't think you should break up w/ your b.f.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I dislike this one guy my boyfriend often hung out w/.
I made it clear to my b.f. that he was a bad influence and I couldn't stand him. We got into many fights over this idiot, but finally he stopped hanging out w/ him.
One time he did call my b.f.'s phone and I asked who called? Keep in mind it was Sat. night and I figured it was that guy wanting to get drunk w/ my b.f.
My b.f. lied about who it was. Well not completley-but he was like "oh I don't know" which gave away he didn't want to admit who it was. He finally told me.
My b.f. and I are always together so I figured its not a big issue, considering hes not hanging out w/ that guy. You did say your guy doesn't see him anymore, so I don't think it is something to leave your guy over.
As long as your guy isn't meeting up w/ this guy you dislike I woundn't get too upset. I understand its irriating he won't stop calling your boyfriend but there is not much you can do. Trust me, eventually he will get the hint. As long as you made it clear to your man you dislike him I'm sure he will stay away from him. An occassional call doesn't mean their going to hang out.
I wouldn't be so hard on him considering he probably lied cuz he didn't want to start a fight w/ you on new years.
Explain to your b.f. next time he does lie your not going to put up w/ it. Tell him you want him to be honest and you won't get so mad.
About the text message-could be anyone. Does he have lots of girls as friends?
I would be mad at that but I figure because he showed you his cell he's not hiding anything from you. If he didn't show you than I would think somethings up, but evidently he's not hiding anything. Its good the text said haven't talked to you in a while. At least you know hes not really getting a hold of her. Did you ask who the girl was? I woudn't believe a guy if he said he didn't know. Isn't there a number displayed on the screen? I don't think though you have anything to worry about.
Well I hope I helped you a little.
Keep your head up!
Hope everything works out for you.
Jen
Edited 1/5/2005 2:44 pm ET ET by jenbez
Keep in mind that everyone looks at a situation differently, and if you write something on the board occasionally expect to hear what you don't want.
Not everyone sees eye to eye. I think Angelica was just giving you advice from her standpoint. You did ask for it didn't you? You kinda of went off on her in one of your responses. I think she did prove good points. But I understand where your coming from, and I don't think the friend thing is a big deal. Well if he did start agruements between you and your man-you have reason not to want them to talk, but like I said as long as your guy admitted he doesn't want to talk to him and they don't hang out-don't worry.
Like I said I know how you feel. And like I mentioned before I think he lied only to prevent a fight between ya's.
And if your b.f. is willing to show you his cell he is hiding nothing. Just make it clear to him that you don't want him to respond back to her. I wouldn't allow my guy to.
Well I do hope my prior response helped you out also.
Hope everything works out for you.
Jen
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