need advice with boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
need advice with boyfriend
14
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 8:00am

ok on new yrs day while my guy was driving me home,a former guy friend of his that started rumors and caused problems with us and broke us up called him while he was driving..and he lied about it saying it was his sister..he no longer hangs out with him because the guy is a jerk and started lots of trouble,but i am upset that he lied,esp since we broke up for few mos..now i am wondering if i should dump him for not telling me truth right away..also something else happenend last month with us..he was telling me about someone texting him and he had no idea who it was,thought it was the jerk x friend at first but said he wouldnt text him(this guy is a minda mental and doesnt take a hint,i met him couple times and he acts very stupid)then he thought it was a girl him dn his other firend used ot be friends with..he texted the person(he didnt know if it was guirl or guy)in front of me asking who it was..turned out to be a girl that is friends with his friends and his friends fiance,hsi friend used my guys cell one time to call her..of course i think the story is kinda weird and figured eh met someone while we broke up and the person is texting ..all the girl said was hi havent talked ot you in a while,and hejust wrote hi back to find out hwo it was and she didnt reply...so right now i am wonderign what to do..he was letting me look at his cell,and using it to check my email and showed me the texts,so i figure he isnt hiding anything?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 5:07pm

Ya, does sound a bit weird. Even if his good friend used his cell to talk to her, how does she know your guy well enough to sent a text like that?
That is a little weird.
If your boyfriend showed you his cell and explained who she was then its all good. I don't think its anything. Are you going to tell him not to respond to her, or are you unbothered by the situation? Doesn't seem likes hes even interseted. Obviously he loves you if he couldn't stand being w/ out when ya's broke up. Just keep a suspicious eye out if she contacts him again, otherwise I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Anywayz, did you agree that your man said it was his sister who called to avoid a fight w/ you? I've been that route, and like I said as long as they don't hang out I wouldn't worry bout it too much.

I'm glad you and your boyfriend are going to try to work things out. I say give him another chance. If it happens againt then be mad, but like I said before he seems trustable because he was open w/ his cell.
And I'd let the little lie go about his friend calling. Obviously hes not best buddies w/ him and he knows how you feel. He couldn't do anything about the situation-the guy called and he didn't want you to get upset.
If you need any other advice, I'm here for you :-)
I hope things turn out for you and your man.
Talk to ya later

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 9:25pm
i was not trying to be harsh or mean,just that one thing she said I took offense a bit...I don`t allow a man to treat me bad,is what I was trying to say..if we could predict how a man will be,if he will do something wrong,well we would all be happy!I have heard people say that women alow certain things,like if a man hits her or rapes her she must be asking for it,etc,and just other things,like if a guy cheats,maybe she wasn`t keeping him happy....alot of crap...all I meant was if a guy was doing something mean to her,like cheating,etc,or if she wasn`t sure what to do in a situation,she would want support,just like I did,and that is all..she wouldn`t want to be told she is allowing,by going back to him,etc..i am human,and anyone on the boards that reads the posts and responds is not in a perfect relationship if they are on here as well...sometimes women are still judged poorly esp in this society..also she said I am allowing him to lie..no that is not true ....if that was the case I wouldn`t be posting on the boards because...no one allows a person to lie,you can be in love with the right guy and then BOOM! he leaves you,cheats,etc..and you had no idea,nor did you allow it....anywas that is all..I was upset with situation abotu my guy,but i don`t feel I am allowing him to lie to me,and I don`t feel he is,but the situation on my part is crappy...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 9:33pm
they barely knew each other,but my guy`s friend and hsi fiance are moving out of state,so maybe she just figured be friendly and keep in touch?also it seems that she thought it was the othe guy`s cell,which is why she was texting...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 1:49pm
I wouldn't even worry then. I'm glad everythings going good for you now. If you need any other advice you know where to go.
Talk to ya later
Have a good day :-)
Jen

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