Need advice, ex is give mixed signal

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Need advice, ex is give mixed signal
73
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 6:22pm
my boyfriend and i broke up on sunday, he tells me he still loves me but we do need to take some time apart, for us to think about things, where we heading with life, and how important we are to each other. I talked to him today and he told me that he needs at least a month to think about things, then maybe we can get back together. I know he loves me and i know that the reason we broke up was because we argued a lot. We argued about little things, his inconsideration of my feelings, i would get mad at him a lot. I realized that but i guess it's too late. I told him i'm willing to change if he's willing to change with me, it takes two to tango, so it's gonna take two of us to fix things. He says he doesn't believe me. I told him that i don't want to lose him, he told me that he's not looking to be with any other women. That i have to trust him, that's not my concern, well it is but what i meant was losing him period. He told me i just have to give him some space, let him have the time he asked for so he can figure things out. What should i do? i need some advice, do you think he's really sincere that he just want some time to figure things out and there really is noone else? i know that i'm going to have to respect the fact that he needs some space, should i wait? i love him deeply and my heart aches everytime i think about not being with him. Please some advice!

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 9:06pm
Hey I wrote you a note and think i lost it let me knowif you didn't get it!!! okay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 7:21am

Hi Guest-

I did not get your message. Did you post it on this message board?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 7:23pm
Hi susi;
How are you today? I sent you (ITHOUGHT) a reply yesterday and I lost it so I will attempt to rewrite it....
My guy likes to run, he's a coward and like you said...He's guilty....no two ways about it...He thinks that his emailing others is his way of finding someone else....and he will be sorry because God will be getting him for not obeying him..I do not plan on giving up either...so be both need to stay strong and relax......RIGHT!!!and this fat lady doesn't want to sing right now...lol
So, may I as you why you are not coming to wisconsin with your husband ???? Maybe you should both go there and find a mutual counceler and be with family there...ya know..was he planning on going back to Florida...and I am so happy to hear that that Woman isn't around anymore....
I have had a migraine for the last two and a half days...YOWSER!!!so that is why you haven't heard from me for the last couple days...I wish that It would go away...I hate being sick...stress, lack of good nutrition no sleep...get my drift????
well I gotta get some supper on and will get back at you later...k.....by the way my name is Monica......
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 10:44am
susi
Hi haven't you been getting my emails???I haven't heard from you for a couple days? are you upset about something I said or are things going WELL down there? I am starting to worry....Let me know okay....If i upset you please knowI didn;t mean anything ....
write back Hurting....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 3:22pm

Hi Monica-

Things have already changed since I emailed the post on this board. I felt good about my husband taking the summer off to go back to Wisconsin where his family is to clear his head. What he failed to tell me is that he quit his job here in Florida, so to me that says he will not be returning. I gave him every opportunity for ways to make him happy and to save our marriage. I suggested he quit his job and go back to school full time to get his masters degree, I suggested we sell our house because he said it has bad memories for him to stay here (because of the hurt he has put me through), I suggested selling the house and moving back to Wisconsin. I don't know what more I can offer. He is just running, running, running. I just still don't understand how he could just walk out and abandon me, our marriage, the dog, and all the responsibilites that come with a house. I'm just stuck with it all! I would have loved to go to Wisconsin with him, but he will not go to joint counseling right now because he said he needs to work on himself first. He leaves this coming Friday and I know this whole week is going to be very tough for me. I did ask him to meet me after work on Thursday as I have not seen or talked to him in person for a month. He agreed, but I think reluctantly. He still has time to back out because I know he just doesn't want to see the pain & suffering he is putting me through. Thanks for emailing me back.

susi

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 12:37am
move on girl...yeah, the sun will shine for you soonest than you think.you deserve to be happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 7:55am

Hi Hurting-

Are you Monica or Hurting2again? I have been posting back to both of you. No one has said anything to me on these boards that hurt. I just desperately need people to talk to. This is extremely hard to get through and I am all alone. I have no family here, my world was centered around my husband, and he's not here. I am some friends, but all at a distance. Most of my friends have spouses, so it is real difficult to see couples together who love each other, don't walk out on each other, and have a future together.

Everybody please keep in touch. This is so hard.........

susi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 3:36pm
Hey susiqqq!!!!!
How ae you doing girl????Are things okay????has he moved????are you alone?????I haven't heard from you lately, and I AM WORRIED!!!! I have been in the hospital and I check everyday on here tro see if you are alright........TALK TO ME SWEETIE!!!!I am truly concerned...... hurting aka Monica
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 11:38am
I have been in the same predicament as you. The thing is that my ex decided not to tell me that he has moved on the get married to someone else. What a Jerk. I hope that you can make it through without talking to him. I have tried many times and i have failed. Can you believe that the ahole has the nerve to ask if we could be friends with benefits. He is not happy with his marriage. I remind you that he has only been married for two months. I guess that the grass was not greener on the otherside. He still tells me that he loves me and wants to be there for me and everything.. What a complete ahole... I am so close in busting up his game.. Just to think that i thought this was for me.(the best thing since slice bread.. If you can tell me how you got to where you are. I would appreciate it.. Because it is getting down right disgusting...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 7:46am

Hi Monica-

He left this past Saturday for Wisconsin. He took a leave of absence from his job for 8 weeks, so I guess that tells me he still hasn't made up his mind. I saw him the day before he left - he hugged and kissed me, looked me in the eyes and said "Susi, don't worry, this is just temporary." Don't know how to take that, but I will hold on to every bit of hope. I will be making a surprize visit to Wisconsin in 6 weeks and plan on seeing him. He doesn't know I'm coming.

Anyone out there who believes in the power of prayer, please pray for Don and I. I truly believe we can make this work.

Monica - how are you doing? Let me know what's going on in your life. It is so good to be able to talk to someone, even if it is via a message board. The most important thing to me right now (besides my husband) is being able to talk. I don't really have anyone here, so thank you for talking with me.

susi

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