Need Advice here on NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Need Advice here on NC
5
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 4:28pm

As you may know, I am still involved in a business venture with my ex. Not to go into too much detail, it involves a musician, moderately known who died 6 years ago and his son who is a musician in his own right and his estate. I have developed a strong rapport with the small but very loyal fan base, do marketing, pr that sort of thing. Worked hard to nuture these relationships and that is why I want to keep working on the project. Just got off the phone with one of my contacts, has an online group for the dad, a tape trading non profit and has been a big supporter. He wants to ditch the online group after a few weeks of ugly activity. (one totally scary fan...hes creepin me out) I would like to move it to myspace and alert the family bout really creepy fan guy. Would like to name the new myspace page for our new project. Need to run it by the ex, my business partner 50/50.

So, if I do this, keep it totally about business, no hello, how are you, or anything,is that breaking no contact? Can I do this? Or do I wait for my 30 days? Not necessarily time sensative except for the looney fan, which I don't think is an emergency, could also wait.

I'm doing so well. I refuse to back slide. What should I do? Do I wait? I will abide by the majority vote. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 4:32pm

Hello, business.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 4:40pm

LOL! I'm not wearing a bra! Hey, do you blame me for not trusting my own judgement?
I've been an idiot for the last few weeks. Helloooo! Crazed emotional basket case here!

Umm, so was that a yes? LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 5:41pm
Don't let him effect your work. I have to work with my ex and stopped talking to him only unless I have to. It makes it so much better. Stand tall and don't let him get you down. Show him you are strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:18pm

So, did you decide?

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:59pm

Well, got another call about the nut case fan and an unpaid debt to a charity, so decided I had better write. Wrote the email 3 times, didn't send. Went on my evening power walk, came back feeling fabulous and confidant. Sat down, wrote a very matter of fact no frills email, phrased it so that it required no reply like "unless I hear otherwise I will assume we're a go" and sent it. No, "hope you're doing well" or anything. It was a thing of beauty.

I was furious when I found out that he hadn't paid the charity. They helped us market, we said we'd give them a percentage of every sale they made. They worked hard, did what they ssaid they would, and he never paid them a dime. That is why I had to rewrite the email so many times, the first two were, shall we say, a little terse. After the walk I felt better, approached the matter as purely business and made no offhanded remarks about his character or lack thereof. Strictly business.

I would imagine he is not happy that I have found out he didn't donate the money. If he doesn't make good on his word, then I will do it out of my own pocket. My reputation is at stake here too. Further, I will resign from the project. The family has asked that I remain, so I will for a bit, but if the ex pulls anything else even slightly shady, or does not make good on this debt I'm out.

Can't believe how much this man has changed. He has become so bitter and selfish and cold since his divorce. Not the same man I used to know at all. This man is a complete jerk.

And, BTW, writing to him made me feel soiled.




Edited 6/8/2007 3:01 pm ET by asutherngrl