Need advice I'm doubting my judgment!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2007
Need advice I'm doubting my judgment!
1
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:08pm
I broke up 3mos. ago with a man I had been dating for 2yrs. I'm still bothered and wonder why I didn't see things as they were for so long. I feel like I found myself suddenly involded in a very bad situation. Am 48,he is 50 we both have college student children he a girl me a boy... mine goes away to school his lives at home and communties. After a 1 and half I moved some things to his house and started staying there one or two nights a week he would still come to my house the same we were talking marriage. His daughter was not a pleasant girl, arrogant, superior, constantly puts people down and a slob..but she liked me I think admired. Suddenly all our evenings she was joining us, talking about her problems and others, Valentines I wanted to stay in, I cooked a special dinner..she didn't get acknowledged by a guy she had been going out with for 6 weeks I wasn't surprised recognized signs. But she spent the night complaining it was Valentines from hell. The next thing I know my guy is insisting that I go along on "her vacation" I couldn't beleive we fought when I said no.I finally relented relucntly. I couldn't go mother very ill, life threatening. He went without me and wasn't very nice about it. Pretty upset. Did not offer to refund my money. My son home from college needed to talk to me about his daughter who he had only met 3 times and disliked but was polite to, she had been repeatdly trying to get him to add her to his friends list on Facebook this had gone on for quite a while but he just ignored her but he had learned that she was contacting people around him asking questions about him and making rude remarks. He was getting creeped out. I had already told her to not make comments about my son which she had to me. I was furious. I had already reached the point of boiling over him taking her nasty behavior, rude comments, superior attuide and constant need for attention including hyperchoronia and multi ER visits. I confronted my BF over the Facebook, and the need for space from daughter she was 21. He exploded calling me names, saying I was such and such, is daughter would never do that my son who is a straight A student was a loser it was awful. I was horrfied but wouldn't drive home that night woke up early the next morning and starting packing all the things I had there loading car he started threatening me if I left he wasn't taking me back. He pushed me at one point. I started yelling at him that he need not worry I was getting out of there as quick as possible. He said if I didn't get out that very moment he would call police yeh right he would have been arrested. I feel so betrayed. What a creep in the 3 weeks it took me to get a mover in to get furniture I had at his house he said horrible things to me saying I just acted innocent but I was really a horrible person on and on. This was all so sudden and out of control I don't put up with verbal abuse or pushing at any point. But to have gone two years and not have seen this. Did I miss the warnings? Bother's me because I really cared but would never stay in realtionship that was out of control. This was also the frist relationship since divorce and I don't trust my on judgement any more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:13pm

Welcome to the board raindrop951,


When we are 'in love' we can miss a few of the signs or we are in denial or we make excuses.