Need alot of opinions and advice

nicole_lena2

iVillage Member

Registered: 06-14-2011

5	Tue, 06-21-2011 - 12:47am

I came on here a few weeks ago explaining about me and my ex and how we broke up from cheating and now he wants to be friends. Good advicers said that I shouldn't be friends and let him to and move on.. although I truly tried I found myself calling him and making up excuses to why I called just to talk to him. I know ur wondering 'why do I still want him when he cheated ?' and idk the answer to that question either. it seems like everyday I need to listen to his voice and text him

Anyway I called and lied about moving on and he basically said I don't want a gf and I know I did u wrong and I can't change it ,it is what it is. I asked could you at least try and he simply said he can't
I know I need to leave and I want to soo bad but idk what it is ..I'm always drawn to him
Is there anything I should do or tell him to have this closure and move on?

Signatures On

undercovercrab

iVillage Member

Registered: 05-18-2009

In reply to: nicole_lena2

Re: Need alot of opinions and advice

Tue, 06-21-2011 - 9:12am

You can lie to him, that's fine. You don't owe him any honesty. It's more important for you to do and say things that help you to move on.

It's okay to accept that you're not going to be completely over this any time soon. You do need to leave, but you have to stop convincing yourself that you "can't". Write "HE CHEATED" on a thousand post it notes and put them everywhere you can. Change the contact name in his phone to "HE CHEATED AND DOESNT WANT A GIRLFRIEND". Right now, focus on NOT contacting him. Only focus on today, and get through this one day without talking to him.

kkayt2009

iVillage Member

Registered: 10-29-2006

In reply to: nicole_lena2

Re: Need alot of opinions and advice

Tue, 06-21-2011 - 10:08am

"Is there anything I should do or tell him to have this closure and move on?"

What he thinks, knows, feels or does has absolutely no bearing on your ability to move on. Closure is something only you can give yourself based on a decision you choose to make.