Need alot of opinions and advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2011
Need alot of opinions and advice
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 12:47am
I came on here a few weeks ago explaining about me and my ex and how we broke up from cheating and now he wants to be friends. Good advicers said that I shouldn't be friends and let him to and move on.. although I truly tried I found myself calling him and making up excuses to why I called just to talk to him. I know ur wondering 'why do I still want him when he cheated ?' and idk the answer to that question either. it seems like everyday I need to listen to his voice and text him

Anyway I called and lied about moving on and he basically said I don't want a gf and I know I did u wrong and I can't change it ,it is what it is. I asked could you at least try and he simply said he can't
I know I need to leave and I want to soo bad but idk what it is ..I'm always drawn to him
Is there anything I should do or tell him to have this closure and move on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 9:12am

You can lie to him, that's fine. You don't owe him any honesty. It's more important for you to do and say things that help you to move on.

It's okay to accept that you're not going to be completely over this any time soon. You do need to leave, but you have to stop convincing yourself that you "can't". Write "HE CHEATED" on a thousand post it notes and put them everywhere you can. Change the contact name in his phone to "HE CHEATED AND DOESNT WANT A GIRLFRIEND". Right now, focus on NOT contacting him. Only focus on today, and get through this one day without talking to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 10:08am
"Is there anything I should do or tell him to have this closure and move on?"

What he thinks, knows, feels or does has absolutely no bearing on your ability to move on. Closure is something only you can give yourself based on a decision you choose to make.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 1:08am
You already know what you should do but it seems you still want to hang on. Find out why with therapy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 4:27pm

Read this, and DON'T CALL HIM.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 10:03am

He gave you all the "closure" you need!