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Need an Answer before MONDAY
| Sat, 07-24-2004 - 5:51pm |
Christ. Where do I begin? Most people won't even understand I'm presumming because I have a reason for breaking up that most people don't have. In a nutshell, I want to break up with my boyfriend because I am depressed and don't trust anyone anymore. I'm sick of getting hurt and am afraid he will do the same. It's really REALLY frickin' complicated, like everything in my life. That's what I'm best at. I want to be alone and I don't want to talk anyone at the moment or interact, but then when I tell myself that I can't see him anymore because I am hurting myself and him, it just makes me want to see him again even more. I need any sort of answer before because it's my birthday and don't really feel like going through a break up at the moment when I'm supposed to be TEEHEE Happy because I popped out of my mom 19 years ago. Frankly I don't give a damn about my birthday and never have but it's a big deal to everyone else because they care more about than I care about myself which I know is sad but don't talk about that in your answer because I KNOW!!! It's a PROBLEM OK? I've heard it since 8th grade and don't need to hear it again. I'm sick of that speech, it's so ****ing full of crap. Back to the subject on hand. I know that my boyfriend is going to get me something really nice for my birthday. I feel really bad for planning to dump him right after my birthday but I can't do it before because my parents will asking me about him and why he isn't sharing this "SPECIAL" day with me (eye roll). They really like him I think and he is a real improvement from my last boyfriend. Will appear totally shallow if I break up with him about a week after my birthday? Like I wanted to stay with him just to get a birthday present from and then dump him which is not my intention at all. Should I refuse the gift entirely? Should I give it back? What if it's something I can't give back? I just feel awful about the whole situation. I'm just sick of feeling this way and being this way with every boyfriend I've ever had. Or should I just break up with him before Monday? I don't know what to do in this situation. Usually I have a good reason to break up with someone but now it seems like no one will understand unless they've been in my exact situation which I think would not be very many people.
Another thing I'm worried about, he's friends with this guy who is a total a$$hole. TO EVERYONE! He's an ass with legs. This friend used to be my friend when I was with my previous boyfriend. OK so basically my current boyfriend knew my ex and is friends with my ex's friend. If that makes any sense. So JESUS I will just use names. My boyfriend is Taur, his friend is John, and my ex is Ryan. So John teases me about me going out with Ryan. I find this really really REALLY upsetting because that was a horrible relationship/breakup (To put it lightly it was abusive, addictive, co-dependent and pointless). John knows this but completely ignores that fact. Taur definately knows this considering I talked to him a whole TON about it. So John makes these cruel remarks about me and Ryan. He says that he was thinking about brining Ryan to the movie we were all going to. I was like WTF??? Why ARE YOU BRINING HIM UP?? He just was giggling like a little girl. HE IS SUCH AN ASS!! He thinks it's so ****ING funny to make fun of my problems and tribulations. When he made this commment about it being funny to watch me and Ryan fight Taur wasn't there. But when Taur showed up (He was in the house we were out on the street) he asked what was wrong because I obviously looked really really pissed off! John explained. THEN !!!! He went on to say how it would be funny if they (Taur and Ryan) exchanged STORIEs!!!! I wanted to smack him so hard that he would fly up off the ground. I resisted the impluse. I am on the phone right now with Taur. I'm trying to act as little pissed off as possible. It's not working. Christ I'm so pissed. I didn't say anything to John I was just like Shutup. And Taur didn't even say a single thing in my defense. I'm really piseed. Is this alone something to be really mad about mad enough to break up with him? I was really offended. John was talking like I wasn't even there Like I didn't matter , Like I wasn't there. It was like I was some THING to talk about around the campfire and compare horror/pleasure stories. He didn't say a SIGNLE THING IN MY DEFENSE!? I was shocked. I was mad. I still am. Was I supposed to say something in my defense and not leave that up to my boyfriend? Or should we both have said something? He is really good friends with this guy, like since birth and well I don't hang around John much but I think it's really important to get along with his friends. Does this show a sign of my boyfriend's character that he has a friend like this? I mean this guy is really bad. I almost charged him with sexual harrassment more than a year ago because he wouldn't leave me alone. It wasn't even my idea a teacher at my school said "You shouldn't be treated like this. We should do something." I didn't want to formally charge him but I was really upset when I realized what an ass he was. Should I pursue that now? I'd do it mostly to get back at him. I'm too pissed to write anymore, besides Taur is coming over right now. God spare him from my loose tongue.
Another thing I'm worried about, he's friends with this guy who is a total a$$hole. TO EVERYONE! He's an ass with legs. This friend used to be my friend when I was with my previous boyfriend. OK so basically my current boyfriend knew my ex and is friends with my ex's friend. If that makes any sense. So JESUS I will just use names. My boyfriend is Taur, his friend is John, and my ex is Ryan. So John teases me about me going out with Ryan. I find this really really REALLY upsetting because that was a horrible relationship/breakup (To put it lightly it was abusive, addictive, co-dependent and pointless). John knows this but completely ignores that fact. Taur definately knows this considering I talked to him a whole TON about it. So John makes these cruel remarks about me and Ryan. He says that he was thinking about brining Ryan to the movie we were all going to. I was like WTF??? Why ARE YOU BRINING HIM UP?? He just was giggling like a little girl. HE IS SUCH AN ASS!! He thinks it's so ****ING funny to make fun of my problems and tribulations. When he made this commment about it being funny to watch me and Ryan fight Taur wasn't there. But when Taur showed up (He was in the house we were out on the street) he asked what was wrong because I obviously looked really really pissed off! John explained. THEN !!!! He went on to say how it would be funny if they (Taur and Ryan) exchanged STORIEs!!!! I wanted to smack him so hard that he would fly up off the ground. I resisted the impluse. I am on the phone right now with Taur. I'm trying to act as little pissed off as possible. It's not working. Christ I'm so pissed. I didn't say anything to John I was just like Shutup. And Taur didn't even say a single thing in my defense. I'm really piseed. Is this alone something to be really mad about mad enough to break up with him? I was really offended. John was talking like I wasn't even there Like I didn't matter , Like I wasn't there. It was like I was some THING to talk about around the campfire and compare horror/pleasure stories. He didn't say a SIGNLE THING IN MY DEFENSE!? I was shocked. I was mad. I still am. Was I supposed to say something in my defense and not leave that up to my boyfriend? Or should we both have said something? He is really good friends with this guy, like since birth and well I don't hang around John much but I think it's really important to get along with his friends. Does this show a sign of my boyfriend's character that he has a friend like this? I mean this guy is really bad. I almost charged him with sexual harrassment more than a year ago because he wouldn't leave me alone. It wasn't even my idea a teacher at my school said "You shouldn't be treated like this. We should do something." I didn't want to formally charge him but I was really upset when I realized what an ass he was. Should I pursue that now? I'd do it mostly to get back at him. I'm too pissed to write anymore, besides Taur is coming over right now. God spare him from my loose tongue.

Just wanted to let you know that I read your post, and wanted to say that I can relate to you, at least to an extent. I myself am going through the 'time-bomb' breakup problem. Unfortunately, since I am myself posting on this board seeking advice, I don't really know what to tell you, except that you shouldn't feel like you're going to appear shallow if you break up with him a week after your birthday. Another thought though; you're supposed to be happy on your birthday. Maybe you should break up with him before then, since it would lift a weight off your shoulders; you wouldn't be spending your entire bday with him just dreading what you'll have to do in a few days. At least it'll be over with if you do it before.
Happy birthday
If you are dead set on breaking up with him after your birthday, if he gives you a gift, hold on to it and don't open it (past the wrapping paper) and when you break up with him have it ready to hand back to him. That way he has the option of letting you keep it or taking it back and..... he will know you didn't break up with him before your birthday because of a gift. Good luck.