Need help with a breakup

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Need help with a breakup
9
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 5:37pm

I just broke up with my long term girlfirend (4+ years)...here is a little background.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 6:19pm

Welcome to the board rossjack,


Sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:22pm

Is there anything I can do for her to help her get through this with out ruining her life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:41pm

First, seriously, she's never going to *forget* about you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:43pm
Thanks for the advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:50pm

No problem. I'll keep telling you. :0)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:21pm
Do you have any advice on how to take my mind off of her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:41pm
also...one more thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 3:53pm

Hey RJ-


I was with my ex for five years and really there is nothing but time to help you get past having such strong feelings for this girl. You can make it easier by finding activities you enjoy, hanging out with friends...basically distracting yourself as much as possible.


as far as keeping in touch with her mom...tread very carefully here. Part of you (and maybe a part that you don't even realize) probably wants to keep in touch with her mom because it helps you stay connected to this girl. You really, really need to break this connection. Expain to her mom that you really appreciate her friendship but for a little while you need to break some communication so you can go off and heal yourself. Let her know it's nothing personal, but by staying connected to her mom you are staying connected with your ex. Her mom shoud understand that it's just what you need right now to heal. It may not always have to be this way, but right now your feelings are too raw.


and i agree with other posters who said that your ex needs to be able to learn to pick herself up and get back on her feet. there is NOTHING you can do to help her.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:19pm

Hi,


Try a few of these:


The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron (or just do the 'morning pages' exercise - write daily, like a journal, don't think about what you are going to write, just dump what's in your head on paper)