Need Help Please
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| Wed, 05-02-2007 - 11:43am |
Hello,
Well this really sucks. My boyfirend and I are over. It has been almost 4 years. Its been a rough couple of months. When this all started he came to me and said he needed a break. I said alright, and ever since then we have been going back and forth and back and forth for months! He would say he missed me and wanted me back, and I would believe him and come back, then in a week or a month he would change his mind again, decide he "wasnt sure" he did not know if he wanted me or not. Then, about 4 months ago I left, and I stayed gone. Well, in this time he started with the whole, I miss you I want you back thing. Finally one day, I called him and said...
Look, I love you to death and I really wish things could be different but I cant do this anymore. I need to move on with my life, I am in a good place now, I feel stronger, and I love you, but I dont want to go through this anymore with you.
Well, needless to say, as soon as those words came out of my mouth he was so sad. He begged me not to leave him for good. He just had to have another chance. He did not want to loose me and he was so sorry for all the pain he caused me, but I just had to give him another chance. Well, I put it off for about 2 more months, but I finally went back to him. And now it is not 3 weeks latter and it has happened again. He left to go pick up a snack last night and before he left it was all good. He said he loved me, gave me a kiss, asked if I wanted anything. Then 2 hours latter, I finally called him and he said he was out driving around, thinking. I asked about what and he said he wasnt sure anymore, that he didnt feel comfortable around me. I just dont get how you can go from one end of the spectrum to the other. How for 3 years you can love someone and then mess it up then beg them to come back, and just rip their heart out all over agian. I told him this morning that I could not and will not do this with him anymore. I have tried everything I know to do, and said everything I can say. That I love him to death and I wish things could be different but I deserve better than what he has been giving me. I dont know, I just really need some help here people. I feel so stupid that I fell for it again. My heart hurts so much! I just dont know what to do.

Something was apparently much more broken in your relationship than either of you were either willing to acknowledge openly or maybe didn't even know, and the resulting resentment and pain of that seems to have brought on this downward spiral.
When you were apart, it was easy to forget the bad parts and focus on missing the good, happens all the time.