Need just a wee bit of support!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2006
Need just a wee bit of support!
3
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 4:53pm

This weekend will be the first weekend in three months that I will have not spent with my ex b/f...we broke up last weekend. I freaked just a little bit when I found out that both of my kids will be gone on Friday (leaving me alone) to go with friends. So, my g/f offered to come over and keep me company while helping me paint my walls. She's a good friend! I do have a social gathering that's been on the calendar for a while now (ex was supposed to go with, but I'm still going with friends) and I'm quite looking forward to it (1) because it gets me out and about and (2) it's the perfect opportunity to meet a lot of new people - so if the timing on the breakup had to be right, now was the time.

Anyhow, I'm so afraid that after my g/f leaves on Friday and I'm alone, or when I get back from drinking myself to a stuper (not really) on Saturday, I'll have the urge to call him and that's something that I DON'T WANT TO DO!!! I do, but I don't! The only reason I want to call him is to find out if he's missing me....how silly is that????

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 5:19pm

I think you said you got Greg Behrendt's book on breakups right? He talks about this exact situation. Use the ideas in the book to spark something that'll work for you...whether it's giving your phone to your friend or something else. As he says in the book, it doesn't matter how silly or extreme it seems...do whatever it takes!!

One thing you might consider is not drinking at all or very lightly this weekend, since it tends to cause one to do things you might not otherwise ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 6:21pm

I just wanted to second what Sheri said about alcohol - while it seems to make you happy, it is actually a depressant - and might make you feel sadder, which is the last thing you need. And of course, it also can cloud your judgement.

Hang in there this weekend - it will be tough, but you will get through. Take good care of yourself, you deserve it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 6:36pm
your not silly one bit...your sad. i'm in the same boat. i have gone out with friends for the fun and to help distract my consumed. i like to go out and have a good time but i know that if i drink too much i will call him and i will regret it at this point so i've made a vow to myself to limit my drinks so i don't get to a point of carelessness. i think people think they should drink to forget but for me it's the opposit. i feel aweful on my way home and that's when i pick up the phone. i suggest giving yourself some limits but have fun if it's even for one moment at a time. we deserve it.