Need to know what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Need to know what to do?
2
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 1:17pm

ok I didn't want to tell you this because I myself know it was wrong but I did see him over the weekend... it actually was good for me because before I felt no closure and this time I drove away with no tears and knew it was goodbye... anyway... my question...
his mother is in her late 80"s I have helped take care of her in this relationship, take her to doctor's appt.'s, take her to lunch, bring her dinner, etc. I normally got their garabge once a week too. So this weekend when I saw her she had my avon order and I told her I would bring her the money today.

she does not know about the break up and has moved in with my ex for the winter. So I went today, brought her dinner and sholved the walk and drive for her, and took the garabge he was at work so I did not see him, but he will see whenhe gets home I did all this.

well do I stop doing this even though he would be at work when I do this? I just need thoughts here.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 1:32pm

Yes, you stop doing that--he needs to take care of his mother himself or find other caregivers. You need to sever your connection with him (even indirect connections); taking care of his mom will keep you hooked in to him. I was good friends with an ex's mom and I had to stop seeing her for a while--but we were able to reconnect as friends later, after I was over him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 12:16pm

I think you're doing stuff for her that her son can *easily* do himself, and he should, it's *HIS* mother, not yours.

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