need a lil help to maintain NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
need a lil help to maintain NC
4
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 5:50pm
Ok i chickened about sending him that email admitting that I snooped that's why I found he lied and cheated on me over IM's. I just decided to shut my mouth, let him go and move on with my life. I haven't been responding to his text messages since Sept 18 and now he begs me to respond. I do not want to talk to him, but I want him to stop. I want to move on and forget about him. I feel like if I respond I will only say hurtful words, and I don't want to appear bitter over him. How do I respond to him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 6:00pm

"Please stop contacting me or I will file a restraining order against you."

That's the message you send him. OR change your phone number. Or block his.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 9:08pm

You dating my x? I found out via his e-mail. That's after seeing some pretty heavy evidence. I haven't told him how I know. Not his business!

I'm waiting for him to show up around the 8-week mark and try to test the waters too.

Don't respond. Apathy is the best revenge. He'll wonder who you're seeing that's so hot that you've forgotten him already.

In some places you can only get a restraining order if they threaten to harm you or themselves, so might want to make sure before saying it. I was granted an RO on a stalker x because he threatened to throw himself in front of a bus if I didn't take him back.

Just let your ego soak in the fact that he wants you so bad and you don't want him. And let your apathy let him know your response.

Every one of my exes I wanted to KNOW if I could go back or not, but didn't necessarily want to. Just wanted to know just in case.

:)




Edited 10/18/2006 9:12 pm ET by devuchka

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 11:46am

Ok I responded along this line:
Pls dont text msg me anymore. I am in the process of healing. We could be friends someday but not now. Stay happy as I know you are.
And he responded with:
I'm not happy. I'm sorry with whatever it is that have hurt you. I hope you forgive me because until now I cannot accept the fact that you are out of my life. Before I go I hope you are not mad at me. This will be my last text message for you. Take care. Dont worry I will be watching over you.

I did not respond.

He always says he is ill and whenever things won't go his way, he will talk about death. It doesn't work for me anymore. He is pathetic, plain and simple.
I was about to follow devuchka's advice but I really wanted him to STOP and he won't do it if he is always wondering. He hurt me so much and I never wanted to hear anything from him. He should know that there is no turning back for me. I cannot afford to change numbers b/c I have been applying for jobs and that is the main contact # I gave.

Thanks for the responses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 12:58pm

You should respond but let him know that you are moving on with your life without him in it. If he wants an answer on why, tell him to call you and you will let him know. You are doing the right thing by not having contact with him if you feel he is not right for you. I think the best approach to ending a relationship is a straight forward one by telling the other, I don't want this anymore and here are the reasons why. This way both of you have closure and YOU can move on to better things in your life.

Good Luck!