Need NC -- I Feel like a Drug Addict!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2005
Need NC -- I Feel like a Drug Addict!
6
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 11:17am

I don’t know why I can’t start NC again. After he broke up with me, I did NC for two weeks and then finally gave into him calling and had one phone call. Then it was NC for another couple of weeks. Then over the holidays, he called me 4 times! I finally spoke with him a couple days ago – and now I’ve started sending e-mails and wanting to talk more. It’s like a drug – why can’t I stop?

What is my problem? I don’t know why I can’t admit that it’s over. He isn’t saying it’s over – or really saying anything, either way. He’s acting confused and ambiguous (which makes me feel worse). He doesn’t say anything about wanting me back – but still drops pet names that he has for me, etc. UGH! It’s been about 5 weeks now – and my friend has already yelled at me saying it’s too long to dwell on it (which I don’t agree with). Any advice would be so wonderful. Thanks :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 11:37am
Get over him and move on with your life. This is all making you suffer. If you let him go now the pain will go away faster. Be the strong one (or act like it lol) and tell him to never call you again and things between the two of you are over. I just had this problem like 3 months ago, I finally let go told him no more coontact and I ended up finding someone new (and I wasn't even looking). This new guy treats me great and I couldn't be happier. You just have to let go, I know it's hard, I dwindled with mine for 2 months before finally saying OK THIS IS ENOUGH! After I did that I felt better and I wasn't even looking and I met a new guy. Let him go for your sake, and be stern about it, you will feel better for standing up for yourself. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 2:19pm

I hate how you feel.

Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 10:35pm

You CAN stop.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-07-2006 - 5:41pm

I did that dance too for a few months...and then one Sunday AM I called and he was at some one night stand's house and I realized enough is enough. I never called again..I said NO MORE. And he is the one that calls on the holidays and what not. NOT ME..and I vow never to call again. I think it takes getting good and mad or hitting rock bottom for those of us with low self esteem issues pertaining to love.

I too met someone I fancy but am taking it as slow as I can. BUT he treats me like gold, respects my need for space. Is ok with no sex or intimacy...Lets me set the boundaries and seems to still want to see me and date me..so voila, magic can happen...ending a bad thing gets you ready for something wonderful...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2005
Sat, 01-07-2006 - 10:58pm

Last Wednesday was my last contact with him (I sent him an e-mail and he did not respond). He hasn't called me (which he will) so I haven't been truly been tested yet -- I hope I can make it through that. Ha -- I think the worst thing is that he doesn't know yet that I'm doing NC (damn!). I would like for it to bother him -- oh, well... wish me luck... I hope I can keep it up.

It's amazing how a breakup can make you feel like you'll never find love again -- or that you're unlovable. I can't WAIT for that feeling to go away. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 7:01am

That feeling leaves quickly if you have the right mindset. Alot of my break up blues was old stuff: rejection and abandonment from childhood. I said these words over and over: I am loved, I am safe. It was a little mantra. I am doing LOTS of Louise Hay work and reading and reading and meditating.

I didn't think I could do the NC at all. In fact I was clueless and felt like it was IMPOSSIBLE. Now I cannot imagine dialing his number w/o feeling ill. This too shall pass.