need some advice
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:25pm |
I was dating this guy for about six months and everything was great. We never had any problems. Our schedules were rough, but he always made it a point to come and see me. We live a little less than an hour away from each other. Then a week ago he broke up with me out of nowhere. He was recently laid off from his job and I know he was stressing about that. His reasons for breaking up were that he needed to focus on getting a job and that he couldn't be in a relationship right now cuz he didn't know when or how much he would be able to see me. He said he wanted us to still talk on the phone and text each other. He also said that he wanted to see me still and that he hopes that once he got everything settled and worked out, that things would go back to how they were. The next day he called me and said he missed me and he would try to see me in a couple days. The day after that I called him and texted him to find out if he was still coming out here. About twelve hours later he texted me back. All it said was "i cant come out there tomorrow." I asked why and he never responded. So the next day I spent wondering and it drove me crazy. I kept calling him and texting him. Finally he called me back. He was mad that I called so much. Which I was out of control, I know. That feeling of wondering and not knowing was making me crazy. He said the same things he did when he broke up with me a week ago. He told me that if we lived closer even that we would have never broke up. He said that right now he needs to focus on my job and he needs space to do that. Space? To me that sounded like he was trying to let me down easy. So I kept persisting him to tell me if this was it for good. He said he hopes not but that for right now we can't be officially together cuz he does not have much time and feels like a jerk when he breaks plans with me and that its not fair to either of us. We had plans to see each other the next day and he said he would let me know because he was mad that I was acting crazy calling a million times.
The next morning he texts me and says he can't come because he got a job interview. He also said he would try to come out here in a few days. So I texted him back with my schedule for the week. He never responded.
I called him an hour ago and he didn't answer. I left him a message asking how the interview went and to call me when he got my message.
I am making myself crazy over this. It seems like he is blowing me off. Then I dont know what to think cuz he went on for so long about how that wasnt what he was trying to do. Every time I have talked to him in the last week I asked him was he trying to let me down easy and he kept saying no. He said if he felt like that he would absolutely tell me.
What should I do now? I know I should not keep contacting him, but I am so confused.

Pages
I don't know the answer to that, because I don't really understand the concept of not doing what you say you're going to do. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.
Time to make other plans for this weekend. Call some friends and see what's going on.
Sheri
Well, how many calls have you made?
Well he did end up calling me. It was a little awkward because he seemed a little different than normal. We talked about this weekend and he told me that he didn't know what was exactly going on because now he said his friends made plans for all these things to do. He said once he finds out exactly what the itinerary is that he would let me know if I should go or not. I just asked him flat out if he just didn't want me to go because of it being awkward or because he just wanted to spend time with his friends and he said no that's not it at all. I don't believe that. I think he just didn't want to upset me. I would bet that he will send me a text saying that I shouldn't come rather than just calling me and telling me. Anyways he said he would let me know as soon as he finds out.
I thought about this all night at work and I just made other plans with my friends. Plans that I wont back out of even if he says he wants me to go. They have always been there for me no matter what so I would not want to disappoint them. I figure that if he wanted to see me, he would. And if that's what he tells me, it will be a great feeling. But if not, I don't want to sit around my apartment moping all weekend. At least I will be trying to have fun.
Thanks again for the advice. I really didn't think at first that posting on this board would do me much good, but I think it has. I will say this...being here makes me think twice when I get the overwhelming urge to call him or text him. And honestly, for the most part I have not done that.
I'm sure I will post again when I hear from him.
Pages