Need some encouragement
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| Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:26pm |
I thought I could be strong and continue the NC, but I broke down and called him today. It was a good conversation and I know it will be the last. It just hurt to hear how good he was doing. I guess maybe it is the closure I needed. The comment that hurt the most was at the end of the conversation instead of the ususal I will talk to you later or see you later he said take care. At that moment I knew it was over and he never really wanted to talk to me again. I am worse now that I know that he has moved on and I am still hurting. I feel horrible again. Now I am upset with myself for contacting him. I knew what the outcome would be. I was holding on to that little hope that maybe he would want to get back together.
I am so scared of being alone. He was my best friend and I loved him so much and obviously still do. When is this pain ever going to go away? I don't think I can take much more.

Hi there...
I'm so sorry you're hurting, honey. I was in your place just a little over a year ago and I know how much it hurts. My ex was my best friend too, and to lose that relationship as well as the romantic one was really really difficult.
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"You get what you settle for"...
I know, I know..I am there right with ya..I call mine too still and it aches after. It is a quick fix to hear his voice and then after it is NOT satisfying in fact, down right depressing.
If you get any tips on how NOT to call. We spoke daily..at least 4 times and most days he slept over too..ours was a LD but parts of the year we were together 24/7.
I want to be the strong secure one that moves on. He is the one already seeing another for sex and whatever..it is terrible for me..and on top of it, it's been 17 days of hardly ANY SLEEP.
Ugh...I hear ya friend..be strong..
i hope you can stick to the nc because i think that will help a lot, i know it has helped me some what...although i do believe it takes more than nc to let go and heal. i really think the worse apart of it and the strangest thing to accept is that this person was such a huge part of my life, and now we have to be strangers pretty much, i just think that's really hard and sad.
i wish you the best, and take care.