Need some encouragement

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Need some encouragement
2
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:10pm
I don't know whats wrong with me. I haven't had to use this site in a few weeks. I have been feeling so much better about the breakup because truly I like my life much better. Now though my last semster of college is starting and its all messed up and I'm scaried about the "real world." Now thoughts of him are coming back (its been almost 7 months now) and I'm just a total mess. There's nothing concrete in my life right now and I guess thats why I'm going back to him because that use to be? I had a dream last night that we got back together even though he has a girlfriend and I don't even want to. She was in the dream too but it wasn't her it was a much better looking girl that was suppose to be her. Why is my subconcious torturing me? I just wish they would breakup and it would make me feel so much better, but it shouldn't matter...ugh. I have also been worried that he would be coming back to our club but I found out he has stopped talking to all our mutual friends plus not taking classes and has cut himself off from the world even more so than when he was with me. I'm so upset that I had such a bad judge of character, but I just can't beleive this is the same person. I shouldn't even care since he wants to shut himself out of the world. Why has he become this way? Life's so mixed up but I guess it is for everyone at 21. I just needed to vent and find some encouragement that everything thats going through my head is normal and will go away. Any suggestions on him too would be appreciated
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 3:04pm
Dear Need Some Encouragement,

I think that what you're going through is very normal. It is always our heart's first instinct to retreat back to what is familiar when we are scared. Even though you know the relationship was bad it doens't change the fact that you were familiar with it and good or bad, it offered some consistancy. I believe there are many stages of healing when breaking up and what you are experiencing is actually positive. You're recognizing your life is about to change because your moving forwards and growing. Once you realize that you are okay in this next step there will be no stopping you! Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 5:51pm
You are right. It is showing that I am moving forward and growing. I had my first good thing happen and that was got offered an internship which I need to graduate. Now I just have to get all the paper finalized by the end of the week and that step will be done. I feel somewhat better now that is moving forward but I'm still scaried to face whats happening. When I was with him I had my life planned out. Now its up in the air and I guess thats whats making me think back. Not that I should really care about his actions but I just don't get them and its bugging me. Why has he cut off the world? I mean he kinda did it with me but it seems more drastic this time. It just doesn't make sense because he's such the sales guy (talker type). I feel bad for him that he's got this sickness so bad that he's not even living his life except for the new girl and a few distant friends. Wow I guess he was right when he felt he was holding me back. It was true and I just didn't want to see it. I feel so sad for him I hope he learns he needs help. Its frustrating because I'll always care about him but I can't do anything....