need some help please
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| Thu, 11-18-2004 - 5:08am |
well last night i got a surprise form my boyfriend, well now ex boyfriend. He said we are two different people and i don't understand that one because we've been happy for 10 months now. he went to say how he's so busy with work and school((which he goes to part time)i'm busy myself i work full time and go to school full time but always make time for him. anyway,last night he was unsure about dumping me then he said he just wanted to be single again how can you have a realtionship when one person wants to be single so he tried to say oh we aren't broken up tonight and i'm not gonna dump you tomorrow but what the hell am i suppposed to think when he says he wasnt to be single again, and that i make him feel guilty whenhe wants to go out with his friends which i don't know where that is comming from i gave him 40 bucks to go out with the guys last weekend.He's also stressed because he had to get a new car and money is going to be tight as far as us gpin out well in his words going out for dinners and breakfast i said that's nota problem that's not why i love him. and i said i cnan pay for things here and there going out wise.evertime i think of an answer to some problem that he brings up he seems to throw something in my face then he tells me how much he loves me and cares about me and asks if we can just take a break i don't know what the hell to say,do or even think about all this and advice would be appreciated.
~~~jenn

ok jen...i dont mean to be harsh but since when is it his decision on weather or not he wants to be single or not?
here is what i would say to him......it is MY choice to NOT be with someone who does not know what he wants.....end of story...and move on...it will be the best thing for you.
do not give him the power....if he thinks you will let him come and go at will that is exactly what he will do.....
good luck!
I also agree with what has been posted, he is trying to dodge and deflect from the real issue of what is going on with him. It sounds like he does want to break up with you, as hard as it seems, it much worse to be with a guy who is unsure of the relationship while you try to fight for it. It is better to have him let go of it altogether and eventually you will move on and be happier for it.
It is nothing you did or didn't do as a girlfriend, it is simply something he is feeling and he is the only one who can deal with that. As for you, I would advise you honestly to go ahead and break things off with him point blank, as hard as that will be he has told you he wants to be single, take that to heart. Despite anything else he is telling you to the contrary or stringing you along with, he has already told you exactly what he wants and a life with him being single cannot include you in it.
I know this is hard but you do and will find a guy who does not have these doubts about being with you. To me this situation is like pulling off a band aid, better to get it over with quickly than to have it drag out slowly and painfully :(