Need some support

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Need some support
3
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 4:47pm

My bf of 11 months broke up with me on Sunday night. We live about an hour away from each other and seem to fight and/or break up once a week. There are trust issues on his part and I always feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him. The problem is that we both love each other very much and we both want the same things. The break up was caused by a stupid misunderstanding but ended with him walking out on me saying "f-you". He's done this before and whenever we fight he resorts to name calling and saying things like "I hope you rot". I usually end up calling him and begging for a second chance. This time I'm not going to call him though. I want to be strong and since we are always fighting, I have to accept that this just isn't meant to be but its hard. I think I'm still kinda in shock about it and I feel hallow and empty.

Any kind words or advice would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:57pm

My exbf used to get somewhat verbally abusive during fights. I am 49 years old and had the worst fights I've ever had in my life with this guy. He never actually called me names but a lot of the things he said were very hurtful and mean. I started to realize that he had a very hateful and ugly side to his personality that I did not want to see. I also felt at times that I had to walk on eggshells because I never knew what might trigger his anger. He used to tell me that we didn't fight--we talked. And that our fights were nothing compared to his former marriages. He said it wasn't a fight unless you call each other names and say I hate you. I disagreed. This was one of the reasons that led me to end the relationship.

I would predict that your boyfriend will probably only get more abusive in fights if you stay together. Walking around on eggshells is not a fun way to live. I think you would be wise to stay away from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 9:58pm
Hopeful is a good name for you. Noone deserves to be called names, no matter what. As you stay strong and believe in yourself, someone will come into your life that will treat you right. This break-up (as hard as it is to hear or feel) is a blessing. Without trust you have a big obstacle missing.
Good luck and God Bless you. My prayers are with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2006
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 3:05pm
Hello
One thing I've learned when your fighting with an inmature male, is that f-you is the first thing that comes out of their mouths.
Because tada! your right their wrong!!
Because they don't have a leg to stand on! they can't come back with anything! So thats thier come back. Wow how intelligent!! Come again!
Move on dear. Hes an idiot.