Need to Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Need to Vent
1
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 11:55am
I dont know how to start but here it goes. I have been with my father'son for five years off and on. We live together his mother got divorced so we moved in with her for "support" ever since then we have lived there and have took over all the payments plus finacially supporting her she is only in her 40's. (dont have a job and do anything else.) I work because he cant manage to support is because he is finacially supporting his two brothers who are older than 18 and his mother. There has been infidelity I dont know how much because he never told me. I dont how long it went on. So whatever we split up I had other family problems. We got back. Both of us have got physical with each other and called other obscene names. So after all that we got back. We had an agreement that he could hang out with the guys once every two weeks. Then it started going to 3xs a week, there has been several times he has came at 6 and 7 am. Ive found text messages he says its nothing he dont why a girl friend would send her that kind of messages. Message: (I just wanted to let you know, I am gonna miss you.) I tried to overlook this and was ok with him going out with his brother for his brothers birthday after our argument about the text message he came at 6 am. The other concerns is that we dont have sexual intercourse. He use to approach me even though I was tired now he never does. And i have him my concern about this and he still does not do anything. I feel rejected unwanted. I feel worthlesss as a women. Yesterday I just blew up. I was about to leave and he did nothing to stop me infact he was going to help me carry my bags downstairs. Because of my finacial situation I am not leaving. Then he turned everything around me. I lost myself as a person, my career goals, and parted from my family, friends. Why does he not want me. I have done everything to make it work. He has never even proposed for four years did not even want me to mention us getting our own house. Why would he not want to have sexual intercourse with me hes 23 Im 25. I have tried to look more attractive to him. As a little girl I wanted more than one kid he said no. which i guess its good because of our relationship, but it still hurts me. In the outside everyone says how lucky i am. But they dont know anything that is going on. I always wanted us to do stuff together. Now he tells me I need to find myself. He says I am too needy. And that I ask too much from him. He says he is happy he dont know why im unhappy. And after 5 years how do I do that since my son and him have become my entire universe. How can I be myself again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: butterfly713
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 5:29pm

Welcome to the board Butterfly713 -


You are a worthy investment and if you take the time now to know who you are, be self-sufficient, boost your self-esteem, get inside your head and know what makes you tick, you will be so glad you did in the long run.