Need to vent and need advice
Find a Conversation
Need to vent and need advice
| Sun, 12-12-2004 - 4:18pm |
I have been with my dh for 16 years, married 7 of those years. We have two beautiful daughters together. Two weeks or so ago, he tells me he is unhappy and he's thinking about leaving after the first of the year. Just like that!! I was stunned, sure I knew we had problems, but this is the first I ever heard that he was so unhappy he wanted to separate. A few days later, I get my cell phone bill, it's over $100. So I ask him who have you been talking to that the bill is that high. He says nobody. So I look up the account activity and find a number that I don't know, and there are tons of calls, some over an hour long. So I call the number and this girl answers. I was like who is this. And she hangs up on me, so I call back and get from her voice mail that her name is Christina. So over the course of the last couple of weeks, I learn that dh has met this girl at work (he is a pilot, btw) and he has developed a good friendship with her. He "thinks" he is in love with her and he is willing to give up everything in his life as he knows it, including those two beautiful daughters and a brand new house we just built a year ago. He swears that he hasn't had sex with her, but I told him that he is still having an affair with her. I know it is so hard to give advice on just a little information, but I think b/c he had such a crappy childhood and has been unhappy, he thinks that he's having these feelings b/c it something new and it's someone who has paid attention to his feelings. God forbid, he come to his wife for that comfort. Anyways, I guess one question I have, is there anyone out there that has been in a long term relationship, and all of a sudden your dh thinks he is in love with someone else? And werre you able to overcome that to get your marriage on track and better than it was before? I am so heartbroken right now, and I have so many thoughts going on in my head that I can't think straight.

I'm sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in...that must be very painful and difficult.
I'm sure you'll get some good responses on this board, but you might also try posting on the "Betrayed Spouses Support" board here on Ivillage as there are definitely posters on that board who have been in your shoes.
Here's a link to that board:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-rladultery&nav=start
Sheri