needing support

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
needing support
2
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 2:51am

hi everyone.
i am new at ivillage, i just really needed some place to go for some support and advice. my boyfriend recently ended our relationship. (just a few days ago)
we hadn't been together that long, but they say when you find the person you are meant to be with you know it, and that's how i felt. he made me really happy and i thought he was someone that i was going to be with longterm. i am having a really hard time dealing with this, because he was the one to persue me and he was the one that started saying
'i love you' first. He would talk about the future and tell me how much he loved me and that he wanted to be with me and how perfect i was. He even talked about marriage. Our friends liked us together and i thought we were really happy. Everything felt perfect. I literally feel like he just changed his mind the other day. He told me that he didn't want to be in a relationship and that he couldn't be with me anymore. He wasn't too nice about any of it either. It was like everything he had said didn't matter and he couldn't understand my confusion and saddness.
I am devestated. I am depressed and so so sad. I can't eat or sleep and all I want to do is curl into a ball and cry. I feel lost and confused like part of me is dying. It is so hard to understand why he would say the things he did and then suddenly take them all back. The thought of not being with him or being able to see or cuddle him is heartbreaking.
i am at a loss. i just miss him so much and all i want to do is call him and see him and have him hold me. i am having such a hard time thinking about what my life is supposed to be like without him or wondering how i am supposed to trust anyone ever again.

i just need some support, some insight, some advice... anything. i know i have a lot of people around me, but none of them know what it is like to be dealing with this right now and i just feel so alone. help! please.

and my heart goes out to each of you here dealing with anything like this.
this pain is sharp- i know, i feel for all of you.
thank you so much for letting me share.

~ash

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
In reply to: ashdeebug
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 10:02am

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. At least you've landed in a soft place here, hugs. It didn't seem like you had much warning for his change of heart... so it is devastating at first. Try not to dwell on what happened, I guarantee it had more to do with him. Don't second guess anything you did or what you two had. It was a nice ride and a sweet time, but you will find that again and it will be even better. It's ok to feel the pain, and cry because your heart and your ego is hurt. But, find alittle time each day to count your blessings, and remind yourself that you are beautiful and loving and will love again! I promise he is missing out! Breakups just suck, but taking that risk makes it all worth it when you find love again! Best of luck

Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
In reply to: ashdeebug
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 8:39pm

thank you so much for your sweet message.

it's so hard to know what to do! so i caved and called him not very long ago. i just wanted to hear his voice, which i knew was not good but i did it anyway. it was really confusing because i wasn't sure if he was even going to pick up the phone at all, but he did and he just ended up talking to me like nothing had happened really. He was just talking about his day and his job and his room mates. it was very odd. i didn't really have much to say and niether of us mentioned the break up or what was really going on. he kept asking if i was ok and when i said i didn't even think i should have called he said that it was ok that i did and that i can call whenever i want to and he will always pick up the phone. ahhhhhhhh what is going on? the thought of not ever talking to him again is just devastating and i know it is too early to try and be friends isn't it?
i know in my heart i am just thinking that we are going to get back together, but i don't know what to do. i feel better that i got to talk to him, but it was so strange because it just seemed like a conversation we would have had when we were together. i am so confused and hurt and i just miss him so much. i just don't have any answers...

thanks for letting me vent...