The nerve of the guy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
The nerve of the guy...
8
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 5:17pm
I am so mad right now. I got an email from the ex today saying he wanted to ask me something, but wasn't sure how I would take it, something about us. Something he has asked for in the past but I was hurt by it...well it turns out that he wants to date me. The a$$ had the nerve to ask me if I would *date* him, while he dates other people. Mind you, we dated for 3.5 yrs, we broke up b/c he wanted to date other people and I wanted a commitment.

He called me after a few emails back and forth, b/c he was confusing me and I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

So he calls and asks how I'm doing with the break up and thinks that maybe I've changed my mind and would now like to start casually dating him. WTF? I told him that I want a relationship. I told him I thought he was crazy. He didn't see it as me taking a step backward, he couldn't really understand how he was being offensive. Does he not know me? Has he not listened to me when I told him not to contact me unless he wanted to get back together, to have a relationship. I guess he took it as I want to be back in bed w/ her, let me call her. JERK!!!!!

I also found out that he is sleeping w/ the massage therapist that we both used to go to. I'm not surprised by that, and I'm not really mad about that. I'm mad that he thinks I would take scraps, leftovers from him? When he asked if I was dating someone else I said yes, I'm not;). He said that made him sad b/c I'm not just his anymore! The nerve!

Where does he get off? He wants me as "f&ck buddy." He hasn't really been a jerk until now. I told him that I learned a lot about him today. He said, "Sorry to disappoint you." Well I am glad I found this out. It makes it a whole heck of a lot easier to move on. It's been 3 mos, and lately I've been feeling great. I hope this doesn't set me back. Right now I am too mad to be set back. Well I gotta hand it to the guy, at least he's being honest. He also told me he still loved and missed, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm done!

If you're interested here is the email trail...

_____________________________________________________


HIM: Hello. Can I ask you something?

ME: Hi...what's going on?

HIM: Maybe I shouldn't be talking to you. I wanted to talk about us, but I don't

want to open old wounds if you are successful moving on. I can wait a few more months, and then contact you again if you like.

ME: What about us?

HIM: Where you were at with us. I want to ask you something,but I think it will

hurt you. I have asked before, but I wanted to see if anything had changed over time.

ME: What are you talking about? Are you talking about sex? What do you mean where I am with us? Please come straight out with what you want. You are confusing me.

HIM: I want to date you.

ME: What?! You do realize that you have emailed ME. Date me? What does that mean? And when have you asked before? HUH? I'm still confused.

HIM: Can I call you right now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:01pm
You are definitely fortunate to see his true colours. I am so glad that you are going to be able to move on better now.

He is a JERK.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 10:42am
...just that his smugness really pissed me off. Like he was doing me some sort of favor. He was acting like he was god's gift. He's 29 I was the 2nd person he was with now he's been w/ someone else. He thinks he's a player now? That was definitely a side I had never seen of him. Just so damn arrogant! It was just so insulting for him to think I'd be over him and ready to be casual. Insulting for him to think I'd take a step backward. He wants to date me? Dating is for people to get to know each other. The 3 yrs we were together should have been plenty for him. I just don't get him. F*ck him for offering me scraps and F*ck him for thinking I was needy enough to want them. He just doesn't get it.

Well I'm officially at the anger stage. I really don't want anything to do with him. What an A$$.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 12:15pm
Good for you!!! I am glad you are being strong. I am needing this as inspiration for me to do the same. My ex has been offering that (actually less, he is dating someone and is open to say have evenings together? because she is Long distance?) and somewhere along the way I have allowed this to go on? I have, I believe, completely lost my mind and don't know where I gave up on the fact that i deserve so much more??? You are going to be so much better without this guy and he has soooo lost out!!!

great big high five!!

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 1:20pm
Hi!

I am going trough the same sort of thing... it sounds like your ex wants to have sex with you! I am on the wrong track myself again after 3 weeks no contact I send him 2 emails and got a: hey, ohyes, you still excist as well and I am doing great back with

my ex g/f-respond. I am very angry with him also, and send him a very nast mail, which he responded to : why are you so angry! He is soooo selfish that he doesnt even realise what the problem is, what as bastard/jerk! And now I send him another angry nast one and I hope its over now or something, I know this is not good to do and I dont want to be so low myself to do this crap....he isnt worth it, he certainly isnt worhty of my friendship

And after all of this, I still find it so hard....

You know what I mean dont you?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 1:46pm
Sh*t, I dont know if someone will read this in time, but he is coming around tonight, to talk he says, aaaaah! its a bad idea isnt it..? I want to be nasty but I dont know if I can do it!! Can someone give me some advise please!!!!!!!!!!! I hope so...

I am so nervous ....what to do??

Samantha

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 2:27pm
Samie,

Why is he coming over? Did you invite him? You're only going to feel worse if you see him. Don't do it! What are you going to get out of it? He probably has not changed. Be mad at him for doing this to you. Be strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 2:56pm
He is coming over because he wants to talk, I didnt invite him, so ....you know...if he wants to...I cant stop him!! I know it is probably not such a good idea, but maybe i can be very cool, look very cool (so he sees what he will be missing for ever)?! I hope so... I didnt make up the bed and didnt have a shower so that will help not to have sex

Oh, i know its dangerzone now... I prayed to God already and he will be with me and help out for the best

thanks for reading and responding fromlb

Samie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 3:44pm
"I didnt make up the bed and didnt have a shower so that will help not to have sex."

Very funny! I laughed outloud at that one.

Do you know what he wants to talk about? Be strong Samie! Good luck!