Never going to find peace : (
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Never going to find peace : (
| Sat, 03-29-2008 - 4:49pm |
It's been almost a week since my breakup (re
| Sat, 03-29-2008 - 4:49pm |
It's been almost a week since my breakup (re
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Thank you so much for taking the time to write.
Hi Carrie,
Well now it's almost two weeks, but who's counting, right? :
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Hi Katie,
Thank you for your response, I think you are definitely on to something here...I wish I knew why it mattered to me what my ex feels.
I know! The no calling has me so confused! Especially when my 'ex' was all about calling me like 300 times a day to check in... now, it's weird, nothing. And as I said, he even said "I need a clean break, no contact is better..." So, I guess I got my answer from him.
I know it seems like you would do better if you were hearing from him. and you're not going to believe me, but honestly, no contact is SO much better. I started counting...Im on Day 5 of break up, but this is only Day 2 of No Contact... The reason why I'm happier this way..? Obviously, if he wanted to try something, or rekindle, has my phone #. ..He COULD call. If I were to call him, I don't think I could handle him saying again "It's done..." I went through it my first 2 days of this breakup. I sent him a text asking him if he was sure this i what he wanted to do... and he said firmly "Yes, lets just exchange things"...It was like he was stabbing an old wound.
It's almost like an addiction; or an obsession. You're USED to hearing from him...and you WANT to... it's your "fix"..."If I could only hear from him once...just once..." Once is NEVER once. Just like a potato chip! Even afterward, you'll feel worse, I swear. At this point, you KNOW no contact is best... so once you do it, you'll feel like you let yourself down. Of course if it ever happens, you'll have to forgive yourself and move on again... but of course it's good to try and avoid it.
I've been thinking and thinkng about why I want him to be hurting...and your idea of your hurting being justified seems possible! However, even then, you're allowing HIS feelings to control YOURS...and you shouldnt let him define who you are.
"nah" by Shania is CLASSIC !!
I'm struggling to not contact a guy that busted my heart . . . 3 weeks and counting.
It's totally normal to feel cheated, you emotionally invested a lot into the relationship, even if the physicality wasn't there yet... totally understandable.
I can relate from my end, because the ex and I were only together 7 months, but we had been "Emotionally Dating" way before then; I watched him break up with a girlfriend and etc; so the 7 months was not really close to the actual duration, at least as far as I felt in my heart!
It's so diffuclt... the could shoulda wouldas. I know I could have handled a few of our arguements better, but the thing is, I have to think, well, that pretty much would have just delayed the inevitable. His trust issues would have angered me to a greater point, and I would have drifted further.
And your reasons are right... he HAD the power to make the move, and I agree, if you want a gentleman...HE will make the first move. And if he doesn't chances are, he won't open your door or anything like that and treat you how you should be treated.
You absolutely don't want someone who doesn't realize that you are one of a kind, and there is no one out there like you.... his loss for not seeing it.
Keep that NC up, girl! No Contact is key. And until you cut it off, you'll never fully get over it. Anytime I feel that I want to contact mine, I think "Well, this will set me back, is that worth it..." And its not.
I wish you the best girl! And Yes, this place is amazingly helpful. I also come here when 'm feeling down, and feeling sad, and 9 times out of 10, I feel better after reading...
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