New and feeling very hurt and used

Avatar for marichiko
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
New and feeling very hurt and used
5
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 10:46pm

I broke up with my BF about a month ago, and I'm having a very difficult time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 10:20am

I'm not sure if there is anything you really can do here except walk away with a humungous and painful life lesson, but I'd go speak with a lawyer anyway. There probably isn't anything you can get back except the laptop though, as you willingly handed over the money and car, but at least it's something.

So sorry this happened to you.

Avatar for marichiko
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 8:15pm

Thank you for your reply.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 9:24pm

I haven't replied to any posts on this board, as of yet. But, you were so kind and bright in your responses to my posts, I feel like I must speak up. You have endured a terrible heartbreak, that is clear. However, you should be very thankful that you did not marry and/or have children with this man. There has to be someone better out there for you!! Unfortunately, this just wasn't the right man. You will find someone that will bring your self esteem back to places you don't think are possible right now, someone who feels so lucky and blessed to be with you. I know this is hard to believe right now. As you know, I am going through a heartbreak too. But, it does get easier everyday.

It seems the only thing you can do in this situation is be glad he didn't tortue you any longer. And, rememeber that none of what happened had to do with you, so try not to take it personally. I know that's much easier said than done. It sounds like these are his issues, and he probably won't be so nice to the new gal either. You gave your heart, your soul and heck, even you're money to this man, who basically stomped on your heart. You did all you could. Just be glad you are a person who is capable of loving, it doesn't sound like he truly is. Please don't blame yourself and let this man who clearly wasn't worthy of your love take anything more from you, especially not your self esteem!

Avatar for marichiko
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 10:48am
Thank you for your kind words, and, of course, you are right!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2005
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 12:28pm

Remember that you are the same wonderful person now as you were before the relationship with your ex. As the clouds of worry and grief of breaking up dissipate a new perspective will be revealed.

I too gave lots of cash and expensive gifts to my ex during our relationship. Surely I might do things differently in the future, but there's no use feeling used or ignorant for giving the way I did. I enjoyed it at the time and all I can do is change what happens from here forwards.

As the wedding day approached she told me she's changed her mind and doesn't want a commitment. She said it wasn't me and completely all her "stuff" that's caused her to feel this way. Acceptance has been the key in my getting over it. Regardless how hard I try I cannot change her from being who she is.

Yes, it gets better!