New to the Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
New to the Board
2
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 10:26pm
I didn't even know that this board existed. And now that I'm aware, I'm so glad it does. My boyfriend of a year and half broke up with me 2 weeks. I can't really say that I'm heartbroken because it was almost like i was waiting for him to do it. It was really sad though because i had told him in the past that if we aren't a couple i have no interest in being his friend. Yet when he broke up with me, he couldn't say it was over, he just said that he felt like we should be just friends right now. I tried to explain to him that our relationship without the sex, does not equal friendship.
For the most part I've been pretty upbeat since we broke up but I've definitely had some low points. and i have no idea how i'll feel when i see him for the first time since we broke up. Our lives were so intertwined, we went to the same church, we share a hometown and we just had so many traditions. And i miss that. And yet I can't help but think, even though i miss all the fun stuff, i definitely don't miss the waiting for him to call, the feeling like i was forcing him to be in something he really didn't want, always feeling on like he was going to end the relationship.
Whew that was cathartic!!!
My most recent realization has been, after a break up i always give myself a loophole and will never say, no we won't get back together, as if i'm still holding out hope even though it just wasn't going to work. Does anybody else do that?
I'm not sure if i even expect any responses. I just really needed to get all of that off my chest.
Thanks for listening :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 11:19pm

sounds like you dont really need advice, so i'll just send you a big hug instead!!!

HUG!!!!

You sound like you really have a hold on things! congrats and all the best!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 12:18pm

you do sound really well. hang in there. and sometimes it may be easier and the stress disappears when you're in a relationship waiting for the other ball to drop and just waiting for them to end it. you do sound good.

and i agree too and don't entirely understand how ex's, cause i've had several who have thought like this, think that if you take away the sex than you can have the same relationship and it equals "friendship." i don't think they seem to grasp the concept that the intimacy level has changed...

if anyone can explain their logic because it seems like MUCH later on they figure out relationship minus sex does NOT equal friendship...