new breakup - distress; help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
new breakup - distress; help!
2
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 10:20am
We have been together for about 8 months or so. on tuesday we went to dinner and had a fine time and then back to my house for fooling around and fun stuff. then we got to the discussion about how long we have been together and then how Im not Catholic and we practically broke up. He cant have kids that aren't catholic and we doesn't want me.

this weekend we went away and he said he ha never been so in love with me.

the next day i broke up with him on a day that was supposed to be special for me. we haven't spoken since. he didn't protest - I couldnt even really do it - he had to finish it. he returned a notebook of mine into my mailbox with my underwear tucked inside . and I have 3 of his shirts and said i would leave it for him

Things have been rocky for us - but i truly believed he loved me, but he said all this stuff and I hate him and I am so hurt and i dont know what to do. I cant believe i will never talk or see him again!

I miss him. it feels like he died. HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 2:09pm
Read the book He's Scared, She's Scared. It's never been a secret that you have different religions, right? It's probably been something you've both known for a long time. So, why is it suddenly a problem? If it was a problem before, why did he let the relationship go so far? Honestly, I think it's because he is scared of commitment, and this is one of those ridiculous situations people with fear of commitment get themselves into. Here's a seemingly impossible barrier to being together, but it didn't just appear, it's always been there. So, it's only a problem now because he's not comfortable moving forward or is using it as an excuse for other reasons why he doesn't think you're compatible. Or he's been yanking your chain for months, drawing you in to develop an emotional attachment all the while knowing he'd never be serious about you if you're from different faiths. It's childish, it's cruel, and it is a game that too many people play. Read the book, or just skim the chapter about this at your local library, you'll be shocked to realize this is a common pattern. A person who suddenly throws at you a fundamental and long-known aspect of your identity and suddenly claims *this* is the reason you can't be together, that person is immature, selfish, confused, manipulative, you name it. But not someone you want to spend any more time with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 4:37pm
NOW ITS BEEN 5 DAYS AND HE HAS NOT CALLED OR ANYTHING. WHAT NOW??? It ended very incomplete.

He has things at my hosue.

I'm so sad and dont feel any closure besides for my family and friends saying- its over, leave it alone and NO CONTACT.


I've had no contact, but i'm miserable and dont know what to do here. I feel like I'm supposed to be some sort of machine; on/off switch.