New Poster to this group!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
New Poster to this group!!
2
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 2:43pm

Hi, I'm Shannon and I live in North Alabama. I have been divorced for 2 and a half years, I have an 18 year old son and a beautiful grandson. While my husband (at the time) and I were going through our problems (he cheated on me with his secretary) our son told us his girlfriend was pregnant. My ex didn't take this well. Fast forward two years and my son and his son live with me in the house I purchased. The problem is I met a man soon after my divorce and fell in love. He asked me to marry him a hear later, I said yes. The problem is I have called the wedding off twice, I don't have a good feeling about it. I love him but can't live with him. We both have issues. He lives an hour away and works two jobs, has a 6 year old son who doesn't mind him well, he has an ex that he seems to do everything she asks. There are too many obstacles in the way of this relationship. I don't want to move there or drive an hour to get to my job. I have a house and he does too. He doesn't want to sell his nor do I. And since I've called the wedding off twice and put the breaks on so much I'm thinking of just walking away and never seeing him again. It's just too hard on me.

Shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 05-12-2007 - 12:32am

Hi Shannon and welcome to the board. I'm sorry you find yourself at this crossroads.

Can I ask you one thing: Why did you say yes to this man's marriage proposal?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 11:12am
I do want to marry him (I think). I was married for 18 years once and I have setbacks. We have to set boundaries and stick to them. I am a giver and I'm working on why I give too much. I decided I don't want to move from my house or leave my job. Instead of addressing these problems when they first come up I tend to sweep them under the rug until it just blows up in my face. (you can tell i've been going to therapy!) So, i'm slowing down and taking things slow. I still love this man. That has never been a question. Our issues are are the real problem. But TODAY I want to marry him. That may change (it always has) but I'm working through this slowly and he is very cooperative.