New Single Mommy HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
New Single Mommy HELP!!!
1
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 3:44pm

Today was it...today was the day...

My parents took my 7 1/2 month old daughter to Orlando (4 hours away) to visit her great grandparents for the weekend while I stayed home and ran the busniess. Usually not a big deal...

But today was the day it ended and I mean really ended...(I hope)

I've been having problems w/ my boyfriend for almost a year now well since we found out i was pregnant and I was keeping it.

We had this BIG dream of getting Married, Buying a house, THEN having Baby then on and on we went with our happy perfect life! But I couldn't and I mean I went FOUR times to have an abortion I just couldn't do it... Partialy because I loved him so much that I wanted to have his Baby and the other half because I honestly thought that he was just scared and that once he held little hailee in his arms (Which he hasn't yet, well besides moving here from one spot to another when he is down here to visit (Down here = Miami) ) I thought that with time he would come around, and I do have to admit that I HAVE noticed some changes but not a lot which I was hoping for...

I have been pushed and pushed and I knew in my mind when I did decide to have Hailee that if he were to leave me that I could and would do this single mommy thing no matter what it took from me.

I am hurt and very vulnerable right now.

He stated that he didn't want to say that he loved me, that he was upset because what we had can never be he wanted everything perfect. I on the other hand can not and will no longer wait anymore....I feel like I am not good enough for him I am nothing more then a piece of dirt. I feel like I have ruined his life and now I sit here in my office ALONE completly w/ nobody but my laptop and a snickers bar.

I've only been in two relationships in my whole life I am 22 years old and I really truely love this guy. I want nothing more then to be with him and him WANT the same but i feel liek I have nothing else to give.

I need some advice ANYBODY please help me out here...I need you to help me feel worth something agian.

Sorry it was so long and thank you for your time.

-Catnip*

"We are all in the gutter, some of us are looking at the stars"
-Oscar Wilde
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 3:47pm
Sorry I didn't mean to post it twice!
"We are all in the gutter, some of us are looking at the stars"
-Oscar Wilde
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket