Newly Heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Newly Heartbroken
1
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:53am
My boyfriend and I had been together for 5 years. Since I was a sophomore in HS. I am now 20. Everything seemed to be going well, a few fights here and there but nothing too serious. Then this weekend, he got REALLY mad at me for talking to this guy (he's been my friend since 1st grade!) and we didn't speak for a couple days. He told me that he has been thinking about it and he doesn't think we should be together because he wants to be single and not tied down. Mind you, he goes out to the bar (since I'm not 21 yet) without me almost every weekend, and I have never told him "no you can't go!". He talks to other girls, flirts with other girls, even dances with other girls, but I have never told him not to. I don't know what he means by he wants to be single, since he's doing everything already, except the taking a girl home part. Is that what he really wants to be able to do is take a girl home? Now the akward part is this, WE LIVE TOGETHER STILL! I sleep in our bedroom and he sleeps on the couch. Both of us have paid rent for April and don't want to move until the rent expires because I am definitely not going to get screwed out of $300! But last night, he came into my bed, where I was sleeping, and just slept next to me.. nothing else. I woke him up and asked him what he was doing, and he didn't say anything. The next day he said it was because he thought I would go on the couch. I just don't get it. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do? I mean, our relationship is great other than this.. and I would really like to get him back. Any ideas on how to do that? My friend, who is practically in the same situation I am, said that I need to go out, and flirt with other guys to make him realize what he's missing. Do you think that's really the way to go, or will that just screw myself over in the end? Please, if anyone has any suggestions or ideas let me know!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:36am

First, please don't go out and flirt with someone else just to make a point. If your guy doesn't already see what he's missing, he may or may not come May when you move.

::Then this weekend, he got REALLY mad at me for talking to this guy (he's been my friend since 1st grade!) and we didn't speak for a couple days.

This is an excuse, especially if he talks/flirts/dances with other girls all the time.

::He told me that he has been thinking about it and he doesn't think we should be together because he wants to be single and not tied down.

The best thing (and painful) is to let him have his way because you are right, he already ACTS single. He may as well BE single. He surely hasn't respected you with the talking/flirting/dancing.

::I don't know what he means by he wants to be single, since he's doing everything already, except the taking a girl home part. Is that what he really wants to be able to do is take a girl home?

Maybe, but it might mean that he just wants to keep his options open.

Sorry you have to go through this. Since I don't recommend you go out and flirt with other guys to get his attention....is it possible to make plans with a girlfriend and not come home a few nights during the week (stay at her house). Coming home to an empty home (while you are out) will more of an impression on him.


Carrie