Newly heartbroken and new to this board
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| Thu, 07-06-2006 - 6:39pm |
Hi everyone.
I'm 35 and my (former) guy is 28. After an awesome 7 month long distance relationship, we broke up two days ago. (worst 4th of July for me ever!) I am devastated. There was a chance that he was going to relocate to my area. However he finally decided he didn't want to relocate anytime soon, as his career opportunities are better for his field in the area he's in now. And he's very career oriented. And I didn't want to do a long distance relationship indefinitely.
Even though it was long distance, we were very close, saw each other every few weeks, talked and texted every day, etc. He emailed me yesterday telling me how sorry he is, still loves me, and that he hopes we stay in touch, etc. I am not responding and am still very upset. I don't think we can be friends.
Any recommended reading and/or tips for coping with a broken heart? Thanks for listening!!!

Welcome to the board, I'm very sorry it didn't work out.
Sandra,
thanks for the kind words.
I have a 9 year old daughter, own a house, and am close with my parents who live near me....not to say I would never relocate to another state, but I probably wouldn't relocate just to 'date' someone, it would have to be more serious than that. He never brought it up anyway (me moving to be near him)...he has said that he doesn't even like the area he is living in, he's been there about a year, and is just there for his job. Plus he rents an apartment and has no kids. Every time he's visited me, he would go on about how much he loves this area and how beautiful it is (I'm in Fla). And about a month ago he told me he was applying for a few jobs in my area...which gave me false hope. He was just seeing what was out there, and just seeing if a really great offer would fall into his lap. (didn't happen)
I have been single since my divorce in 1999, and have had a LOT of first dates with guys during that time, even a few 2nds, but never really "clicked" with anyone until him. I think that's why this is so painful. I have to remember, "this too shall pass" although it certainly doesn't feel like it right now. The most disappointing thing is that in spite of how much he claimed to love me, when he was faced with the idea that I didn't want to continue a LDR indefinitely, he didn't 'fight' for us or try to come up with any sort of plan for us...he just let me go.
I like this board...looks like a good support system! Thanks for the advice and the link.
I'm sorry your having a bad time. Sandra was right, this board is awesome for helping. It's been a godsend to me in the past two weeks since my split.
As for reading, boy can I make recommendations. I'm currently reading He's Scared, She's Scared and Mars and Venus on a Date. The latter really helped me last night. It talks about how two people can really love each other and still not be "the one" for each other. I'm also listening to He's Just Not that Into you on audio. That one isn't helping so much with the breakup as it is telling me what to avoid in the next relationship. Also, it's hillarious.
Stay strong, I know it's a cliche, but time heals all wounds.
Kathy
thanks, I'm going to check out those books. I love to read anyway and if it helps me in my personal life, even better. Have you read "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy" ? I want to check that one out too.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&isbn=0767921852&itm=5
Its only been 3 days so I know what I'm feeling is normal...but I think I really need help just getting through this week. I'm overwhelmed with my emotions!
Hi! Welcome to the boards! We're here for you.
I haven't read all the replies to your post yet, so I could be repeating some advice you've already gotten.
If he continues to call and contact you I would suggest you tell him that you need some time to yourself without talking to him so you can heal. Tell him that when you are ready to talk to him you will call. And leave it at that.
I'm sorry you are going through this, but it will get better. Continue posting on these boards and reading other peoples posts they help alot. Trust me, my break up was almost 3 months ago and I didn't think I would make it through, but here I am stronger than I've ever been before.
~Amber~