Newly Single and hurting
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| Thu, 12-30-2004 - 7:49pm |
Hey everyone,
Im just posting because I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years (it would be on Jan. 8th). In my opinion, he was the one the for me and I loved him with all my heart. HOwever, he had many issues that he no skills to cope with. As a child, he was emotionally abused by his father and he is still affected greatly by what his father says and does. His family has taught him that the only way to handle problems is to keep them to yourselves, which I feel is a terrible way to handle anything. He is one of four children, all of which have issues with the father. His parents have already pushed his sister (a lesbian) out of the family and she is trying to fight to be part of the family.
Anyways, since about a week and half before the holidays, he has been incredibly depressed and I have seen him barely one complete night (he and i both live in my parents house). He continually pushed me away and wished only to be alone. These feelings of depression are not new, but come up every now and then. I have been trying to get him to get help for himself, but he never did and things just seemed to get better after a while. Well for the past two and a half weeks I have spent very little time with him and when we are together he is ignoring me or telling me to leave him alone. I am leaving on vaca for over a week on saturday and wanted to spend dinner tonight and tomorrow together (which we had plans for).
Today he decided that he needed to get the stress out of his life and simply wanted me to leave him alone for a few days, something which I did not want to do since I have been pushed away for over two weeks. I just wanted two nights, which I didn't think was too much to ask.
Anyways, I got fed up with him pushing me away and he would ignore me whenever I talked and so i basically told him to f*** it and that I was fed up with being treated like a piece of crap. My mother was happy that I finally stood up for what I deserved, but just hours later I am regretting it. I know I deserve better and deserve to be treated with respect and not pushed away, but I love him so much and I dont know what to do? Do I simply ignore him and try to get over him? but how? or do I try to talk to him?
Please help me
Christine

I had a similar relationship and he always pushed me away, always complained about his life and his bad luck... always depressed but never accepted to seek professional help... so I got more and more involved because I felt he needs me more than anyone in this world.
Then he decided he can no longer be in a relationship. So he told me that we are over.
I was very disappointed really disgusted but I played a trick on him. I called him and told him I m very depressed I have lost 10 pounds in 5 days and I dont go to work and I m absolutely exhausted and cry all time... I told him I think I m not capable of going on anymore with my life and I need to check into hospital for depression... well you know what he said. He said let go of us and you will be fine. This is the support I got from him. I knew I was not that bad but I did act this miserable and histerical to see his reaction which was pure selfish insensitive and almost careless towards me. So here is what a "depressed" guy would do to get out of a relationship of 2 years... trust me your guy wants a new fresh start with someone else. He thinks you know his history and family problems and you will never respect him for this so he thinks better look for someone else who doesnt know of these problems. Yet wherever these guys with personality problems go they will reveal their problems and will keep seeking a fresh start until they die.
Sad but true. Some people are too weak to get up and fight.