Newly Single Mommy HELP!
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| Sat, 10-28-2006 - 3:41pm |
Today was it...today was the day...
My parents took my 7 1/2 month old daughter to Orlando (4 hours away) to visit her great grandparents for the weekend while I stayed home and ran the busniess. Usually not a big deal...
But today was the day it ended and I mean really ended...(I hope)
I've been having problems w/ my boyfriend for almost a year now well since we found out i was pregnant and I was keeping it.
We had this BIG dream of getting Married, Buying a house, THEN having Baby then on and on we went with our happy perfect life! But I couldn't and I mean I went FOUR times to have an abortion I just couldn't do it... Partialy because I loved him so much that I wanted to have his Baby and the other half because I honestly thought that he was just scared and that once he held little hailee in his arms (Which he hasn't yet, well besides moving here from one spot to another when he is down here to visit (Down here = Miami) ) I thought that with time he would come around, and I do have to admit that I HAVE noticed some changes but not a lot which I was hoping for...
I have been pushed and pushed and I knew in my mind when I did decide to have Hailee that if he were to leave me that I could and would do this single mommy thing no matter what it took from me.
I am hurt and very vulnerable right now.
He stated that he didn't want to say that he loved me, that he was upset because what we had can never be he wanted everything perfect. I on the other hand can not and will no longer wait anymore....I feel like I am not good enough for him I am nothing more then a piece of dirt. I feel like I have ruined his life and now I sit here in my office ALONE completly w/ nobody but my laptop and a snickers bar.
I've only been in two relationships in my whole life I am 22 years old and I really truely love this guy. I want nothing more then to be with him and him WANT the same but i feel liek I have nothing else to give.
I need some advice ANYBODY please help me out here...I need you to help me feel worth something agian.
Sorry it was so long and thank you for your time.
-Catnip*
-Oscar Wilde


You can do what you've decided for yourself and be good at it.
Remember this: YOU did NOT ruin his life. It takes two people to make a baby and two people to want a life together. If he's hung up on perfection, well, that's not love.
Take care of you. Pamper yourself. Be good to you. Join a support group, consider counseling, grieve for what might have been, for what could have been, for what you hoped would have been. Journal write, vent on paper. You will get through this.
Carrie
First of all, don't ever feel like you ruined his life or you are a piece of dirt. You are a mom and your daughter is going to look up to you as a role model and the last impression you want to give her is that her mommy is nothing but a piece of dirt. She is half of your DNA and if you put yourself down in front of her, you are putting a part of her down. Here is some advice from a single mom. If the dad doesn't want to be in your life don't force it BUT you and him will always have a co-parenting relationship and yours and his #1 priorty is to take care of that little girl you both created. He has a responsiblity to his daughter and at the least, you need to get some type of child support from him if you two are not going to be together.
You are very young and you will find another but right now, you and the father need to come up with a game plan on how you two plan on raising your daughter.
Being a single mom is not the end of the world, it is actually very full-filling and I would rather have my daughter come from a broken family instead of living in one.