Night time lonliness
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Night time lonliness
| Fri, 11-18-2005 - 2:08am |
Last night was tough again. I miss having him here at night. It’s the only time I do miss him. During the day I alternate between being relieved the relationship is over so I can get on with my life and being angry with him for treating more poorly or angry at myself for allowing it. But at night, when it’s quiet, I can hear his voice all those times he was told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Tomorrow night I’m going to go to a friend’s house. I won’t come home until I am exhausted so I will just pass out in bed. The following night I’m going to have friends here. But sooner or later I will have to be in my own company without the emptiness of the bed haunting me. I don’t know how to do that. Has anyone else gone through this and how did you deal with it? I refuse to resort to alcohol or sleeping pills so please don’t suggest those.

hi michele, night time is horrible, actually, all times of the day are terrible in my opinion. i'm very sorry for your pain, i know how very difficult it is...most of us on here do.
for me, when my ex and i broke up, one of the most difficult things for me was to get used to be all by myself. we had lived together, so coming home to an empty apt, eating dinner alone, having no one to talk to about my day, watching tv alone, and going to bed alone was soooooooooooooooooo hard. there were days when i would want to stay at work late because i was dreading going home. and like you, i would try to keep myself busy like going out, or hanging out with my sisters etc...but at the end of the day, no matter how busy i kept myself, i still had an empty apt and empty bed to come home to. i had to stop running away, because essentially, to me, i think that "keeping busy" for the sole reason of fear of dealing with your issues do to the break up, or because we don't want to feel sad and cry...is running away. keeping busy does not solve any issues that need to be resolved. i'm not saying not to go out and still have a life, but if you find you are doing as an escape than that becomes a problem. so for me, when i was about to go out or hang out with people, i questioned is it because i really want to or is it because i'm "running away"...and if it was because i was running away...i'd force myself to stay home. we can't run or hide from our pain and hurt...we need to feel it and deal with it. i read a lot of self-help/spiritual books, did lots of reflecting, writing, and i prayed A LOT.
take care, and i hope you find what works for YOU.
You advise was great.
I would add to it to work out/get exercise/etc. Sleep comes a bit easier when I'm physically tired too.
I know exactly how you feel. I cant sleep at night I miss talking to him, I miss the way he held me. Nights are really hard because thats when its quiet, kids asleep. During the day its alot easier because you can work and yes feel happy that you can start a new life. I sit here on the computer trying to get tired. I have 4 children and I myself just posted. I miss having someone. I was married 12 yrs then met a guy who stole my heart, and my money. He was the sweetest most caring guy when we were alone together,yet other times i feel he was a user. i can hear the way he would whisper to me, the closeness we had I have never had with anyone and thats why I miss him, not because I love him but because he was there when i needed someone to comfort me. Now thats gone. I broke up with him after 3 yrs of this. Writing or watching tv helps me, i know in time your heart will heal. Love comes in so many different ways.. Look at it this way. What the two of you shared was special and will always be in your heart. The pain will go away. If you ever want to email me anytime any hr feel free. I know how you feel. Be strong. I really hope you get some much needed rest. =)
~~~~followurheart~~~~~~
my email is angeltig04@aol.com