No contact isn't possible!
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 09-13-2004 - 11:58pm |
I'm in grad school with him and felt like I needed him as my life raft to get through this stressful time. He broke up with me almost a month ago...and I cut off all verbal contact with him 2 weeks ago after he lied to me (yet again) about why he had run out of condoms: He now masturbates with them, so he *says*. (Embarassing, but "Yes", he really did tell me that!)
The hard part for me is that I really CAN'T do no contact, not because I keep calling him...but because I SEE HIM everyday at school. Even on the weekends I run into his friends or him...I can't get away from him! I've been very formal with him when I see him...saying "Hey" and keep walking. I'll talk to everyone else at school, but sometimes just nod my head at him and keep walking when I see him. I just don't have the energy or the will to speak to someone who treated me so crappy. And I haven't called him to have any of those "closure" talks because I feel like he'll just keep lying to me.
My question is: How do I get over him if I have to keep seeing him? And seeing friends of his whose motives in speaking to me I'm always questioning...I wonder how much they know about him seeing another woman/cheating on me/hurting me. I'm being strong, but it's just SO hard! He seems fine...happy...and I really do think he's seeing the woman he used those "missing" condoms with...but he denied it 2 weeks ago and I think he'll probably just deny it now...so what's the use in talking to him.
Has anyone every really been able to get over someone who treated them bad when you run into them on a daily basis?

You are doing good. Having no contact means that you are not part of his life and don't have to talk or listen to him in the same way you used to. Although you have to see him and ocasionally say hello to him, if you keep the distance from him then you are doing well.
You cannot change the environment but you can change your perspective of it. See things in a different way, do not let him to affect your well being. Although we usually think that external things and people influence our feelings and emotions, this is not so. It is only YOU who decide what is going to affect you.
Iliana
And by the way, I have heard of men masturbating with condoms. Some of them do do it that way, something about the pressure and the lubrication.