no contact for over 5 mo & i blew it
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no contact for over 5 mo & i blew it
| Mon, 05-14-2007 - 1:23pm |
arg ugh blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i just want to scream!
So i called my stupid ex bf after 5 months of no contact. I'm not dating anyone else and i am super stressed about life in general. I am just about to finish my masters degree and i have no job prospects as of yet so im just stressed and hit a breaking point last week and called him (while drunk). I luckiliy wasnt totally crazy on the phone but he kept asking me if we could have lunch one day and i just don't know why he wants to see me. Like it makes me confused b/c im like does he like me again? And i'm like do i like him again? Its so annoying im just sucking myself back in. major relapse...
How should i handle this!?
Thanks for listening...

Yea, I guess I am not over it. My feelings are mostly of anger. I'm still angry about it all and mostly at him. I just want the anger to go away its like haunting me! Its so hard not having him in my life even tho he was a bad bf in the end. I just was SO in love with him for SO long (6 years). When we first broke up he kept saying i think we can be back together someday (not now) and it will be great. And i was like WHAT? NO. I'm not just going to wait around for you to decide what you want...i must move on and so i have tried. I have dated tons of people, I just don't like anyone else.
I guess I want to see him and see how I feel. I am also curious as to how he has felt being away from me for all these months. Truthfully I can't imagaine being in a romantic RL with him again but then its hard to accept that he is not in my life--at the end of those 5 months i just hit breaking point i was like I must call him!
Hi diva,
I think, until you let go of your anger, that seeing him won't help.
Thanks I probaly should not have seen him.
BUT I did see him and yes I have written many emails and letters concerning how mad i am and haven't sent them. I didn't blow up at him but I can't be my fun self either. I just get quiet mostly. It was totally elephant in the room situation at lunch! Too much to say...
I think because I am so stressed about my life and I have a tough summer of school and job searching ahead of me that listening to him talk about fun summer plans just makes me like sad about my own life. It's just a time I am going through I mean it will pass but it just wasn't a good time to see my ex bf doing well!
Of course he is nice to me and i just want to punch him and he tries to joke with me and i just want to punch him again. Thankfully he looks fat and like crap so I mean at least I am not physically attracted to him.
Anyways thanks for listening...back to no contactttt!!! Its so much better!