From No Contact to Some Contact?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
From No Contact to Some Contact?
3
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 6:37am
For any of you who did start talking to your exes again, when did you decide to put him back into yur life in any way?

Some of you have seen my questions about my current ex, and I am just wondering if you found it easier when you no longer really cared about the guy (started from square 1) or when you started getting curious about him again.

Thanks for your help.

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 10:23am
I've managed to stay friends with a few exes. I'm currently still friends with my first love. We broke up 21 years ago! I was young and stupid. I didn't know about NC. So I maintained contact with him and never stopped talking to him. Even though I got involved with other people pretty soon after he left I was rebounding, and I still loved him. It took me three years to get over him. I'm sure if I had done NC for a few months I would have healed much quicker and we could still have been friends.

Other exes that I've been able to be friends with I was the one who left. So that makes it easier. I don't know I think if he left you you need some time to get over it. I think at least a year, no matter how long the relationship was. And for some people no period of time is long enough. I've had a couple of relationships in the last ten years where I know I just will never be friends with the guys because I loved them too much and I will always want more than friendship from them.

So the answer is "It depends."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 5:47pm
Good point. The one guy *I* broke up with is the one guy whom I still have any kind of contact with, and even then, I believe I didn't talk to him so much right away cause I decided to date someone else right away. So I think then it was like 2 months of not really speaking to each other.

This guy broke up with me, and I'm not thrilled with the way he did it. The thing is we had been friends before so I hope to wake up one morning and say "You know I'd really like to know how he is doing," but I also know that it can't be rushed.

A year for a relationship no matter how long, eh? Wow. :) I'm hoping in a matter of months I won't care about him at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:39pm
I agree with the other posts if you leave the guy is easy to remain so called friends doesnt mean you have to be on the phone withthem all the time or know everything they are doing but be civil and if you see him at the mall or the movies simply say hi i have only stayed friends with one of my exes and is wonderful even tho the breakup was really sad for me i cried him for a while but it was mutual he had a lot of issues at the time but we are wonderful friends....

But the ex i just broke up with lord have mercy on me i dont ever want to see him again and we live in a small town but i will turn the other way when i see him....lol